PRAYER OF JOHN CHRYSOSTOM, TO BE SAID BEFORE READING OR HEARING A READER
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, open the ears and eyes of my heart so that I may hear your words, and understand and execute your commandments, Lord, for I am a "sojourner on the earth" (Ps. CXVII, 19). Do not hide your commandments from me, but open my eyes, and I will consider the wondrous things of your law (Ps. CXVII, 18). For in you do I hope, my God, that you may illuminate my heart.
SECOND PRAYER OF JOHN CHRYSOSTOM
A Lord my God, great and fearful and glorious, Creator of every visible and intelligible nature, who keepest your covenant and your mercy for those who love you and keep your commandments: I give you thanks both now and forever for all your benefits, both manifest and hidden, which you have bestowed upon me. And up to this present time I praise, glorify, and magnify you, because you have shown your mercy and compassion toward me, protecting me from my mother’s womb, and providing for me in all things, keeping and guiding me holily in those things that concern me, out of your sole kindness and clemency. For neither because of my unworthiness and my passions have you despised my humility; but out of your kindness and compassion you have not ceased to do me good and to provide for me. And "until old age and gray hairs" (Ps. LXX, 18), my God, do not forsake me, Jesus Christ, beautiful name, my sweetness, my desire, and my hope: you who for our sake became man, and endured the death of the cross, and in your wisdom dispensed and arranged all things for our salvation.
I confess to you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I bend the knee of my body and soul, confessing to you, my God, all my sins. Incline your ear also to my supplication, and forgive the wickedness of my heart. I have sinned, I have done wickedly, I have transgressed, I have angered and exasperated my good Lord, my nurturer and provider: there is no kind of iniquity, whether it can be spoken of or cannot be spoken of, that I have not committed, both in act and in word, both knowingly and in ignorance, in mind and in thoughts, sinning beyond every measure; and although I have often promised to perform penance, so often have I fallen into the same evils. B Faster might the drops of rain be numbered than my sins: for they have gone over my head, and like a heavy burden have they burdened me. For from my youth until this present time, opening the doors to absurd desires, I have used a headlong impulse, defiling the divinely-woven garment of holy baptism, staining the temple of my body, debasing my miserable soul with shameful passions, practicing every iniquity and injustice: were I to wish to recount these one by one, time would fail me. But since you know all things—for there is no creature hidden from you; for all things are naked and open to your eyes—what is to be said to you who know all, who are ignorant of nothing? But as for me, my heart and the bones of my mind are crushed, and I am wholly plunged into the depth of perplexity, reflecting within myself that, having committed such great and many sins, I have not shown even the smallest work of repentance: and the time of pruning is near, and the appointed hour of death is at hand, and there is no time for repentance. Therefore my soul is troubled, full of grief and sorrow: for being unprepared, C as I examine and judge myself, I find nothing suitable for a defense, nor any device or way by which I might be snatched from the eternal fire. For "if the just man is scarcely saved, where shall I, the sinner, appear?" (I Pet. IV, 18) And if "through many tribulations the kingdom of heaven is given as a lot to the worthy" (Acts XIV, 21), and "narrow and strait is the way of life" (Matt. VII, 14): how shall I, given over to passions and ruined morals, be deemed worthy of salvation? If "all the righteousness of man is like a menstruous cloth" (Is. LXIV, 6); such filth, such iniquity, what shall it be reckoned? If "account must be given for an idle word" (Matt. XII, 36): for so many and such great sins, what defense shall I have that can even be seen? Woe to me, O soul! that our affairs have proceeded thus. Life is short and limited, quickly passing by and sending [us] to death: is the punishment for sinners eternal, just as the kingdom is for the just, and the life of both is not cut off by death? What, therefore, shall I do? What shall I perform? Into what chaos shall I cast myself? Death is terrible, especially to sinners, because it is an evil: for "the death of sinners is the worst" (Ps. XXXIII, 22); but it is far more terrible to fall into the hands of the living God, from whom no one can rescue. Since, therefore, He shall come to be glorified in His saints, and to render to each according to his works: when the thrones shall be set, when the Judge, who is terrible and without respect of persons, shall sit, and a river of fire shall flow in His sight, and splendor and joy shall be prepared for the just, and all the myriads of angels, and all men who have been from the beginning of time, and all creation together, shall be seen.
A What shall I then do, filled with shame, condemned by my conscience, deprived of all boldness and defense? Groans from every side. Woe is me for my evils! What shall I mourn first? What second shall I lament? What shall I bewail: the deprivation of good things, or the pain of torments? The boundless punishment, or the separation from God? Weep, wretched soul, reflecting on these things, and whatever shall befall you after your departure—as they are exceedingly burdensome and painful—and cry out: "O God of hosts, the eternal God, the God of mercy and compassion, do not forsake me, do not despise me, do not take your mercy from me; attend to my help, O Lord of my salvation!" For even being such and thinking such things, I do not despair of good hope, nor do I despond of my salvation. For I know the compassion of my Master; I know the forgetfulness of injury B of the Lover of mankind; and that He is a desirer of mercy, not willing the death of the sinner, but that he should repent and live (Ezek. 33. 11), for He wills all to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Tim. 2. 4), especially those who turn from sin. For you did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. For those who are whole have no need of a physician, but those who are sick (Luke 5. 31). Now I have begun to speak to my Lord; and I am earth and ashes, a worm and not a man, a reproach of men and an outcast of the people (Gen. 18. 27; Ps. 21. 6). Grant me speech in the opening of my mouth, O You who give prayer to the one who prays, since every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, descending from You, the Father of lights (Jas. 1. 17); that I may both invoke You worthily and supplicate You profitably. Let me not be turned away humbled, ashamed, but having attained what I hoped for; and thus shall I depart rejoicing in the full assurance of my heart. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your great mercy, because my soul trusts in You; have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak, O Physician of souls and bodies. C As if standing before your fearful judgment seat, as if clinging to your immaculate feet, so do I entreat and beseech and implore with a contrite and humbled heart: Be propitious to me, the sinner; forgive me, the worthless and humble; look from your holy habitation upon my misery; look down from your holy heights upon the prayer of your humble servant, and do not despise my petition; release me, that I may find refreshment before I depart, whence I shall no more return. As a man I have sinned; as God forgive; for You know, Master, the slipperiness of human nature, and that the mind of man is set diligently upon evil from his youth. Remember that we are dust; remember that You alone are pure and immaculate and undefiled, but we are all under discipline; remember your mercies from of old and your compassion, and do not condemn me with my lawless deeds, nor repay me according to my sins. You know the multitude of my lawless deeds, that they are many and not subject to number; but I also know the abyss of your philanthropy, that it is unimagined and unconquered. For You are He who takes away the sin of the world, who descended from heaven to earth to seek the straying and lost sheep; the good Shepherd, who lays down His life for the sheep, and came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am first (1 Tim. 1. 15). D Have mercy, have mercy on the work of your hands; do not loathe me, the unworthy one, but have pity on your creature, You who for my sake endured the cross and received the marks of the lashes, but after healing, blot out all by the medicine of your sympathy and the sponge of your philanthropy; for You can do all things, and nothing is impossible to You (Job 42. 2). Strike my calloused heart, lighten the weight of my conscience, accept my tears and sighing, as those of the harlot, as those of Peter, the chief of the apostles; accept this my small confession and repentance, O You who accepted the thanksgiving of the thief on the cross; accept the fruit of my lips as a living sacrifice, well-pleasing, for an odor of sweetness. I entreat, be entreated; I beseech, be moved. Manasseh, that king, sinned, but he did not perish, having repented; David also sinned before him, but having wept over his sin, he was shown mercy. I have many such examples comforting and consoling my despondency, driving away despair from me, and nourishing my hope of salvation. Comfort also my heart, O Father of mercies and God of all consolation; lead and guide me, O fountain of mercy and good things. You have done many things from of old that are great and marvelous, glorious and extraordinary, of which there is no number; but if You save me, the prodigal, if You cause me, the unworthy, to stand, You shall be marveled at even more and greater things; for so great is your power of mercy and philanthropy, that even from mire You make a pearl, and from being a son of Gehenna, You constitute a son of the kingdom. And further I shall cry to my Lord, and to my God I shall pray: govern the remainder of my life according to your will; support me in your fear; establish me in your love and in the multitude of your goodness; grant me a good end worthy of your philanthropy, and look upon my members and joints and all the composition of my being in your mercy and philanthropy, and having led my wretched soul to a place of rest and repose, restore it, for there are many mansions with You (John 14. 2), distributed to each according to his desert. Further I entreat and beseech: grant, Lord, also the grace of understanding to my unworthiness, to think of things pleasing to You and profitable to myself, and not only to think, but also to perform; that I may not be snatched away and dragged along by vain things, that I may not perform things that are not fitting, that I may be humbled without vainglory among the humble, and sympathize with those who suffer, and forgive those who sin. For I know that if I do not forgive, I shall not be forgiven. Because of this, I pray, forgive all things to all those who sin against me; for they are not solely to blame, but I, the wretched one, who do not do your will and do not keep your commandments. Reward those who love us with your rich gifts; and my spiritual father, and the brethren whom You have given, O compassionate One, pity them with the judgments which You know, acting with me with philanthropy, have mercy. May these words of my prayer be as intercessors for me both living and dead; may this confession and the tears as incense before You
, acting with me with philanthropy, have mercy. May these words of my prayer be as intercessors for me both living and dead; may this confession and the tears as incense before You be rightly directed. I, however, daily await the day of inevitable death. And my miserable body, committed to the tomb, shall be corrupted, and it shall be dissolved into those things from which it was composed—which You, Giver of Life, will raise up incorruptible at the time of regeneration; but my spirit I commend into Your hands. Grant it rest, holy Lord, in the light of the living and in the dwelling place of those who rejoice; and my parents, ancestors, brothers, and servants who were upright: for even if we have sinned, we have not departed from You, nor did we stretch out our hands to a strange god; but we have known You, we have loved You, we have believed in You, and we worship You, the One in Trinity; A in You we pray to God, and in You we have placed our hope of salvation. Have mercy on us according to Your great mercy, and save us for Your heavenly and eternal kingdom. Yes, I beseech You, my Lord, Lord, let these things be so for us who hope in You, on account of Your great and immense goodness and for Your ineffable mercy and clemency; through the intercessions of the most glorious, most celebrated, blessed above all, and grace-filled our Lady, the most holy Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary, of the heavenly and intelligible virtues, and all those who from the ages have been pleasing to You. Amen.
SPURIA. ON THE NEW SUNDAY, AND ON THE APOSTLE THOMAS.
I have come with haste, intending to pay the remainder of my debt. For although I may be poor, I shall attempt to satisfy your worthiness. I pledged that I would show the incredulity of Thomas; I am here now, and I shall pay the debt: for my mind bids me settle former debts, lest I add interest to interest. B Bring me help, therefore, for the payment of this debt, and pray to Thomas that, by placing his holy right hand, which touched the side of the Lord, upon my lips, he may strengthen my tongue for the narration of those things which you desire. I, indeed, trusting in the intercession of the apostle and martyr Thomas, proclaim both his first doubt and his second confession, the base and foundation of our Church. When the Savior entered to His disciples with the doors closed, and departed again just as He had entered, Thomas alone was absent (John 20:24). This, however, was a work of divine dispensation, that the absence of the disciple might be the occasion for greater security and firmness. For if Thomas had been present, he would certainly not have doubted; if he had not doubted, he would not have searched curiously; if he had not searched, he would not have touched; if he had not touched, he would not have declared Him Lord and God; if he had not declared Christ to be Lord and God, we would not have learned to celebrate Him as such. Therefore, it was not that Thomas was present, but rather that he was our guide to knowing the truth, and then, by coming later, he made us firmer in the faith. C The disciples, therefore, said to Thomas, who arrived later: "We have seen the Lord; we have seen Him who said, 'I am the light of the world'; we have seen Him who said, 'I am the resurrection and the life and the truth' (John 11:25). We see Him shining through the very things themselves. We have seen Him who said, 'After three days I will rise' (Matt. 27:63), and having seen the resurrection, we have worshipped Him who had risen; we heard Him saying to us, 'Peace be with you,' and we turned the tempest of sorrow into the tranquility of joy; we have seen His hands pierced by the point of the nails; we have seen hands crying out against the madness of the dogs who impugn His divinity; we have seen hands which wove for us incorruption; we have also seen the side which, more than any herald, proclaims the splendid mercy of the Wounded One. We have seen that very side which angels celebrate, which the faithful worship, and which the demons dread. We have received also the divine insufflation of His divine mouth, the spiritual insufflation, D that insufflation which brings every grace. We were ordained by the Lord that we might have the power of remitting sins, that we might have the power of judging sinners—this word we received from Him as a pledge: 'Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose you shall retain, they are retained' (John 20:23). We enjoy such gifts: for we could not fail to be enriched with so rich a Lord; but you, Thomas, remained poor while you were absent. What then did Thomas say to them? 'You have seen the Lord? You do well. Whom therefore you have seen, you worship more; whom you have beheld, you preach. I, however, "Unless I shall see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe" (John 20:25). You did not believe unless you had first seen; so neither will I believe unless I see.' Persevere, O Thomas, in this desire, persevere studiously, so that as you see, I may be firmer in spirit; persevere by seeking Him who said, 'Seek, and you shall find' (Matt. 7:7); do not pass on lightly in your searching until you find the treasure which you desire; persevere by knocking at the door of knowledge which cannot be denied, until He opens it to you who said, 'Knock, and it shall be opened to you.' I love your doubt, in that it cuts away every doubt; I love your fervor for learning, which removes all contention; I willingly hear you saying: 'Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, I will not believe.' For by your not believing, I learn to believe; by your tongue, like a hoe, digging up the field of the divine body, I reap fruit without labor, and I accumulate it within myself. Unless I see with these my eyes the furrows in His holy hands which the impious made, I will not acquiesce to your words; unless I place this finger of mine in the hollows of the nails, I will not let go of your good words; unless I touch that side with this hand of mine, I will not believe your dogma, as a suspicious witness of the resurrection. For a word strengthened by all things is firm and certain; but a voice void of the testimony of facts and works vanishes, diffused through the air from the lips. I am about to preach the miracles of the Master to men: how then shall I tell in words those things which I have not perceived with my eyes? How shall I persuade the incredulous to believe those things which I myself have not followed? Shall I say to the Jews or to the Gentiles that I saw my Lord indeed crucified, but did not see Him risen?"