In Praise of Maximus

and let us pass the rest of our time in virtue, so that, having God favorable to us, we may attain the kingdom of heaven, by the grace and loving-kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

PRAISE OF MAXIMUS, AND WHAT KIND OF WIVES SHOULD TAKE

^A 1. Maximus, colleague of Chrysostom, is praised. — That I was missed by you at the previous gathering, I was sorry; but that you partook of a richer table, I was glad. For he who pulls the yoke with me recently furrowed the field for us and cast the seeds with lavish tongue, and with great care cultivated your souls. You saw a tongue purified, you heard a word molded [well], you partook of water leaping up to eternal life, you saw a spring sending forth rivers of pure gold. They say a certain river brings flakes of gold to the people living around it, not because the nature of the water produces gold, but because it happens that the sources of the river flow through metallic mountains; flowing through those mountains and dragging along the gold-bearing earth, the river becomes a treasure to those dwelling nearby, providing wealth already prepared. This teacher also imitated that river previously, as if through metallic mountains—the [books of the] Scriptures—bringing forth, for your souls, thoughts more precious than any ^B gold. And I know that mine appear poorer to you today. For one who is accustomed to a frugal table, if he chances upon richer fare in the meantime, and then returns again to his own, he perceives its poverty all the more. Yet I will not for this reason set out any more sluggishly. For you know, being discipled by Paul, both to be full and to be hungry, and to abound and to suffer need, and to admire the rich, and not to loath the poor. And just as those who love wine and are fond of drink welcome the better wine, but do not despise the inferior; so you, being frantic for the hearing of divine oracles, welcome the wiser of the teachers, but also afford no small effort and zeal to the more commonplace ones. For the loose and dissolute are nauseated by the more sumptuous table, but those who are awakened and sober, and are hungering and thirsting for righteousness, run even to the poorer table with great eagerness. And that these words are not flattery, you showed this most clearly from the discourse that occurred before you. Since we made many arguments to you concerning marriages, showing that it is a finished adultery to cast out wives, or to take those who have been cast out while their former husbands were still alive, and [since we were] reading the law of Christ which says, "Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery; and whoever divorces a wife, except for the cause of fornication, makes her commit adultery," I saw many bowing their heads, striking their faces, and unable even to look up; then, indeed, looking to heaven, I said: "Blessed be God, that we are not sounding into dead ears, but the hearing [of the audience] is receiving the words ^C spoken with much readiness." For it is better not to sin at all; but it is a small thing for the sake of salvation to be pained, to condemn the sinner against his own soul, and to scourge the conscience with great accuracy, for such condemnation is a part of righteousness, and leads entirely to no longer sinning. For this reason Paul also rejoiced after he had grieved those who had sinned, not because he grieved them, but because he corrected them by his grief. "For you were grieved," he says, "not that you were grieved, but that you were grieved unto repentance: for godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation not to be repented of" (2 Cor. 7. 9, 10). For whether you were pained for your own sins then, or for those of others, you would be worthy of ten thousand praises. For when anyone is pained for the sins of others, he is shown to have apostolic bowels, and imitates that holy one who says: "Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is offended, and I do not burn?" (2 Cor. 11. 29). And when he is stung for his own, he has extinguished the punishment for those things already dared, and made himself safer for the future through this grief. Because of these things I, seeing you bowing, and sighing, and striking your faces, rejoiced, considering the fruit from this grief. For this reason also I will discourse to you today concerning the same subject; so that those who wish to enter into marriage may make much provision for this matter. For if, being about to buy houses and servants, we are careful and excessively busy about those who sell, and those who acquired them before, and of the things sold, both their construction, and the state of the body, and the disposition of the soul of some; much more, being about to take wives, is it necessary to show such and much greater care. For it is permitted to sell back a house that is bad, and it is permitted ^D to return a servant who has been proved malicious back to the one who sold him; but to return a wife, once taken, to those who gave her away, is not possible, but there is every necessity to have her with you to the end, or, casting her out because she is wicked, to be caught in adultery according to the laws of God. When, therefore, you are about to take a wife, do not read only the laws from without, but also, before those, the ones lying among us; for according to those, and not according to those [others], God will judge you on that day; and those [laws], being transgressed, frequently brought damages upon finances, but these [divine laws], having suffered this in the soul, bring about the inescapable punishments and that unquenchable fire.

2. But you, when you are about to take a wife, run to the secular lawyers with much zeal, and, sitting beside them, investigate with all accuracy, "What will be, if the wife dies childless, what if she has a child, what if two or three, and how [is it] if she has a father, and how if she does not have, for their..."

^B sake you ask and inquire, all around, and searching and scrutinizing, lest anything from the woman’s belongings should by any means come to those who are hers, which I said earlier, even if it were a matter of some loss, it would be a trifling thing to lose. But however, you do not bear to overlook any of these things. How then is it not absurd, when we are losing such great sums of money, to show such anxiety, for which there should be, before all others, a thought for the soul and an account to be given, and to search and busy oneself [with the money] and be over-curious?

On the laws of marriage. How wives ought to be loved.

Therefore I advise and counsel those who are about to take wives to go to the blessed Paul and read the laws written by him about marriage, and having learned first what he bids one to do, if it should happen that the wife is malicious or given to drink, or slanderous or fatuous, or burdened with some other like fault, only then to think about the nuptials. For if you see that he permits you, upon finding her in any such fault, to expel her from the house and introduce another in her place, as one established without danger, have a good heart. But if he does not allow this, but bids you to cherish the one who has every fault except uncleanness, hold firm your mind, as one who will endure any of her wickedness whatsoever. But if this seems grave and intolerable, make every effort and take pains to take a wife who is agreeable, endowed with decent character, and obedient, knowing that if you take a bad one, one of two things must necessarily follow: that you either endure perpetual trouble, or, if you do not want this, once she is cast out, you become guilty of adultery. “For he who casts out his wife,” he says, “without cause of fornication, makes her an adulteress, and he who marries her who is so dismissed commits adultery” (Matt. v, 32). If we had properly examined these things before the nuptials and knew these laws, we would take pains to take from the beginning a wife suitable and convenient to our own character; and by doing this, we would gain not only this—that we would never cast her out—but we would also love her with great affection, just as Paul enjoins. For when he had said, “Husbands, love your wives” (Eph. v, 25), he did not stop there, but he even defined the measure of the love. [But whose finally? “Husbands, love your wives.” Tell me how? What measure of loving do you prescribe for me?] “As Christ also loved the Church.” And how, I ask, did Christ love her? So as to deliver Himself up for her. Thus, even if it were necessary to die for your wife, you will by no means shrink back. For if the Master so loved the handmaid as to deliver Himself up for her, much more does it behoove the fellow-servant to be so loved. But let us see, lest perhaps the beauty of the bride or her illustrious character attracted the bridegroom. Not even this can we say. For that she was deformed and impure, hear what follows next. For when he had said, “He delivered Himself up for her,” he soon added, “That He might sanctify her, having purified her by the washing of water” (Ibid. v, 26). When, however, he says “having purified,” he shows that she was impure before and contemptible, and not with a common impurity, but by the greatest by far, as one who was filthy with the reek and smoke and blood and other numberless stains of that kind. Nevertheless, ^C he did not shrink from her deformity, but transformed her into a better appearance, having remitted her former sins. Imitate this [behavior] yourself. Even if a wife has sinned against you exceedingly, forgive her entirely and condone it: if you have taken one of bad character, refashion her toward goodness and meekness, just as Christ did the Church. For He did not only wipe away her uncleanness, but He also abraded her old age, casting away the old man, who consisted entirely of vices. Which also Paul indicates with these words: “That He might present to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle” (Eph. v, 27): for He did not only render her beautiful, but also young, not according to the nature of the body, but according to the disposition of the will. And this is not only worthy of admiration, that having taken one deformed, endowed with an ugly face, base and aged, He did not shrink from such a one; but that, while exposing Himself to death, He reshaped her into an incredible beauty: but even that, after these things, perceiving her to be often defiled and stained, He neither casts her out of the bridal chamber, nor breaks the bonds of the marriage; but He prefers to heal her and correct her with remedies. For how many, I ask, after having received the faith, have relapsed into sins? And yet He did not on this account loathe them: such was he who had committed fornication among the Corinthians, when he was a member of the Church; nevertheless, that member was not excised, but restored to health. Indeed, the whole Church of the Galatians fell away and lapsed into Judaism, nevertheless, He did not reject even her, but having cured her through the labors of Paul, He restored her to her former life. Just as in our bodies, if a disease should occur, we do not amputate the member, but we drive out the disease; thus it must be done with the wife. If there is some fault within her, do not cast her out, but drive out the fault. And yet, the wife can indeed be amended, but a mutilated member is often impossible to heal; and yet, although we know it is incurable, we do not even so cut it off: but while one is a club-foot, another limpeth from a leg, another carries round a withered and dead hand, another is robbed of light in his eye, no one of them wants to lose his eye or hand or leg and foot; and although they are useless and bring disgrace upon the other members, nevertheless, by a certain innate affection as part of the same body, we follow after them. Would it not, therefore, be absurd, where no usefulness or correction is hoped for, to apply such great solicitude, but where a good hope remains and a change is easy, to apply no medicine at all? For innate faults yield to no remedies, but a depraved will can be corrected. Even if you say she is incurable, as one who obstinately retains her ways, not even then is she to be sent away; for we do not cut off an incurable member. She is, moreover, a part of your own body: for it has been said, “The two shall be one flesh” (Gen. ii, 24). And to have healed a member would be no great work of value, if it remains incurable from infirmity; on the contrary, if you heal the wife’s fault, ^D even if it remains incurable, there is a great prize proposed for you, if you have taught and instructed her. For although all discipline and instruction be in vain, yet your patience will bring you a reward promised by God, because for the sake of His command you have shown such patience.

and have meekly borne her wickedness, and have held fast to your member. For the wife is our necessary member, and for this reason we ought especially to love her. ^A This is the very thing Paul was teaching when he said again: "So ought men to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ the Church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones" (Eph. 5.28-30). "For as Eve," he says, "was made from the side of Adam, so are we from the side of Christ." This is what "of his flesh, and of his bones" means. And that Eve was made from the side of Adam, we all know, and the Scripture clearly said this, that "He cast a deep sleep upon him, and took one of his ribs, and built the woman" (Gen. 2.21). But that the Church also was formed from the side of Christ, how can one prove it? The Scripture shows this also. For when Christ was raised up onto the Cross, and was fastened there, and died, "one of the soldiers came and pierced his side, and there came out blood and water" (John 19.34); and from that blood and water the whole Church was formed. And He Himself bears witness, saying: "Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God" (John 3.5). By blood, He means the Spirit. And we are indeed born through the water of baptism, but we are nourished through the blood. Do you see how we are of His flesh and of His bones, being born and nourished from that blood and water? And just as, while Adam slept, the woman was fashioned, so, while Christ died, the Church was molded from His side. And we must not love the wife only for this reason—that she is our member and had from us the beginning of her creation—but also because God has established a law for this very thing, saying: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2.24). For this reason Paul read this law to us, that he might compel us from every side toward this love. And consider the apostolic wisdom: for not from divine laws alone, nor from human, does he lead us into the love of wives, but, swapping between them, he sets both sides before us, so that the higher and more philosophical man might be led toward affection by the laws from above, and the weaker man by those from below and by nature. For this reason, starting from the achievements of Christ, he introduces the exhortation, saying: "Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church" (Eph. 5.25); then again from human laws: "So ought men to love their own wives as their own bodies"; then again from Christ: "for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones"; then again from human laws: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife" (Gen. 2.24); and having read the law, he says this: "This mystery is great" (Eph. 5.32). ^B

How is it great? Tell me.

4.

The wife created to help the husband.

^A a woman cannot hurl a spear or shoot a dart; but she can handle the distaff and weave the web, and attend to other domestic duties excellently. She cannot declare an opinion in the senate, but she can give an opinion about household matters, and often looks after domestic affairs better than her husband. She cannot administer public business, but she can beautifully educate her children, which is indeed the chief possession; she can detect the wrongdoing of maids, and keep the household in order, and provide other securities for her husband, and relieve him from anxiety, while she herself at home cares for the larder, the spinning, the kitchen, the beauty of clothing, and other things which are neither becoming for men nor easy, if they should wish to usurp them for themselves. For it is also a mark of divine providence that he who is useful in major matters is found to be inferior in minor ones, so that the work of women might be necessary. For if a man were to excel in both, the female sex would be easily despised; on the other hand, if the use of women were greater in more prominent things, they would be full of insolence. Wherefore He did not entrust both to one, lest the condition of the other sex might become inferior as being superfluous: nor yet did He distribute duties equally, lest, among those equal in honor, contention might arise regarding leadership, with wives not deigning to yield the prerogative to their husbands; but in order that both concord and dignity might be provided for, He distributed the functions of each sex by order, so that the more useful and more necessary part should fall to the man, and the minor and inferior part to the woman; and that he, indeed, should become honorable on account of his chief usefulness, while she, on the other hand, would not rise up against her husband because of her more menial services.

Only virtue and integrity of character are to be sought in a wife. The disadvantages of a rich wife.

^C ...We do not seek riches, but one who may dispense present resources properly.

Why marriage was instituted. The example of Abraham seeking a wife for his son.

^A Yet even then, should the time prove sufficient and they demonstrate something of their inward nobility, the more they do so, the more it makes the love of their sensible husbands burn, and it kindles (the flame of) love toward them. When this exists, and a warm and genuine friendship lies between them, every manifestation of fornication is driven away, and no thought of lasciviousness will ever enter the mind of one who loves his own wife, but he remains constantly attached to his own, and through temperance invokes God for the care and protection of his whole house. ^B Thus did the noble men of old take wives, seeking nobility of soul, and not an abundance of wealth. And that this is true, I will put forward one example of a marriage for the sake of illustration: "And Abraham was old and advanced in days," Scripture says, "and he said to his servant, the elder of his house, who was in charge of all that he had: Put your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and of the earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son Isaac from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell, but you shall go to my land where I was born, and to my kindred, and you shall take a wife for my son from there." Do you see the virtue of the righteous man, how great a providence he exercised for the sake of marriage? For indeed he did not call for procuresses, as men do now, nor for matchmakers, nor for gossiping old women, but he entrusted the matter to his own servant; ^C and this is itself a most significant sign of the patriarch's piety, that he had so disciplined his servant that he considered him a trustworthy minister for such a matter. Then he seeks a wife, not one wealthy, nor one of beautiful form, but one noble in character, and for this reason he sends him on such a long journey. But observe also the servant’s good sense; for he did not say, "What is this? Such nations are near 220 us, there are such a great many daughters of wealthy, distinguished, and famous men; but you are sending me to such a distant land, to men I do not know; with whom shall I converse? Who will know me? And what if they devour me, or practice some deceit? For nothing is so vulnerable as a stranger." He said none of these things, but overlooking all these, he pondered what was most to be feared, showing his obedience by not contradicting him in anything, and his discernment and foresight by asking him nothing other than what it was most necessary to ask. ^D What then is this? And what did he ask his master? "But if the woman," he says, "is not willing to come with me, shall I bring your son back into the land from which you came?" Then Abraham said, "Do not bring my son back there. The Lord the God of heaven and of the earth, who took me from my father’s house, and from the land where I was born, who spoke to me and swore to me, saying: To you I will give this land and to your seed, He will send His angel before you, and will prosper your way." Do you see the faith of the man? He did not call upon friends or relatives, nor any other, but he gave God to him as his mediator and fellow traveler. Then wishing to encourage the servant, he did not simply say, "The Lord the God of heaven and of the earth," but adds, "who took me from my father’s house." Remember, he says, how we came on such a long journey, how we left our own for a foreign land, how we came to have more, and how the impossible became possible. And he did not mean this only, saying, "who took me from my father’s house," but that God also owes him. "He is our debtor," he says; "He Himself said, To you I will give this land and to your seed. So even if we are unworthy, because of the promise He made to His own, and so that He may bring it to an end, He will be present, and He will straighten out all that lies before us, and will put an end to that for which we pray." Having said these things, he sent him forth. Then, having arrived in that country, he did not approach any of those who inhabited the city, he did not converse with men, he did not call for women; but as he himself was a believer, holding on to the mediator, he conversed with Him alone, and having stood, he prayed, he says. And he said, "O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, prosper before me today." And he did not say, "O Lord my God," but what? "O Lord the God of my master Abraham." 221 "If I am lowly and cast off," he says, "yet I proffer my master; for it is toward him that I perform this service. Respecting his virtue, therefore, grant success to all that I have set before me." And what follows: "And show mercy to my master Abraham." "Even if we have achieved ten thousand things," he says, "we ask to be saved by grace, and receive this from philanthropy, not from some debt or obligation." What then is his wish? "Behold I stand," he says, "by the fountain of water; and the daughters of the inhabitants of the city are coming out to draw water; and it shall be that the maiden to whom I shall say, 'Let down your pitcher for me, that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will water your camels also, until they all cease drinking,' this one you have prepared for your servant Isaac, and in this I shall know that you have shown mercy to my master Abraham." Observe the wisdom of the servant, what a sign he sets. He did not say, "If I see someone being carried on mules, riding on a carriage, dragging a swarm of eunuchs, having much attendance, beautiful and shining in the beauty of her body, this one you have prepared for your servant"; but what? "If I say to her, Let down your pitcher for me, that I may drink." What are you doing, man? Do you seek such a lowly woman for your master, one carrying water, and able to converse with you? "Yes," he says; "for he did not send me to seek an abundance of wealth, nor brilliance of family, but nobility of soul." Many of these water-carriers often possess perfect virtue, while others sitting in brilliant houses are worse and more depraved than all. Then further, from where is this, that the woman is virtuous? "From the sign," he says, "which he spoke of." And what is this sign of virtue? The greatest and most indisputable. For this is a great sign of hospitality, so as to provide every proof. What he says is of such a sort, even if he does not utter these very words: "I seek that maiden who is so hospitable as to provide every service in whatever she is able." And he did not seek this simply, but because he was of such a house, in which the achievements of hospitality especially flourished, he sought this before others, to take one like-minded with his own masters. "We are intending," he says, "to bring her into a house..."

where hospitality is of the utmost importance, and thus it is necessary that she be of such a character as to be able to follow the habits of her masters. For if she were easily annoyed, or lacking in that particular type of grace, she would quickly become a source of division for the household. Therefore, he seeks one who is hospitable, so that she might be in harmony with her husband, and so that, while the husband is occupied with his work in the field, she, dealing with the guests, might share in his merit—or rather, might provide even more than he."

^A Thus it is that he seeks a wife with the eyes of faith, not with the desire for wealth or outward beauty. It is the same with us: we should not look for dowries, nor for connections, nor for bodily appearance, but for a soul that is noble and suited for virtue, a soul that is capable of being a helpmeet in the things of God. For if the soul is beautiful, it creates a beauty that is enduring and does not fade with time, whereas the beauty of the body is a flower that withers, a vapor that passes away, and often, because of its excessive focus on itself, it becomes a snare rather than an aid.

^B Let us therefore, like him, seek out the virtue of the soul. Let us look for one who is pious, one who is modest, one who is compassionate, one who is hospitable—for these are the ornaments of a wife, these are the signs of a noble and genuine disposition. If we seek these things, we will have a household which is truly a church, a household over which the blessing of God will rest, a household in which the angels will delight to dwell. For wherever there is virtue, there is the presence of God; and wherever God is, there is every good thing, and there is peace, and there is abundant joy, and there is an immunity from all the snares of the enemy.

^C But let us return to the servant and consider how he, in all matters, was a pattern of wisdom. For he says: "And it shall be that the maiden to whom I shall say, 'Incline your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also draw for your camels'—this is the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac." He did not wait for the woman to offer him gold or silken garments, nor did he look for a large dowry, but he sought the hidden virtue of the soul. He knew that the one who performs an act of mercy for a stranger, out of the kindness of her heart, is the one who is truly worthy. ^D And when she did exactly as he had asked—and more, for she not only gave him to drink but also watered all his camels—he recognized the answer to his prayer. He did not boast of his own cleverness, nor did he attribute the event to his own merits; rather, he bowed down and worshiped God, acknowledging that it was by His power and His providential care that everything had been brought to pass. See how he does not forget the oath he swore to his master, nor does he forget the kindness of the Lord. For this is the mark of a true servant, to be ever mindful of his duty, to be ever grateful for the grace of God, and to be ever seeking to do the will of his master in all things. Truly, he is a model for us to follow, in his prayer, in his humility, in his faith, and in his complete reliance upon the Lord in everything he does.

^A For if he is not hampered nor held back, as often happens in many houses, I would like to test her hospitality right now, since we owe all our blessings to hospitality. Through it, my master secured a bride; through it, he became a father, sacrificed a calf, and received his child; he kneaded flour, and God promised him descendants as numerous as the stars. Since all these good things have flowed into our family from this source, I seek this virtue before all others. Let us not look at the fact that a man asked for water, but at how hospitable her soul was, not only to give what was requested but to offer more of her own accord. And it happened, the text says, that before he finished speaking, Rebecca went out (Gen. 24:15). That prophetic word was fulfilled here: *While you are yet speaking, I will say, Behold, I am here* (Isa. 58:9). Such are the prayers of the righteous: even before they are finished, they feel that God has granted them. Therefore, you too, when you are about to take a wife, should not have recourse to people or to women who traffic in others' misfortunes and seek nothing but their own gain; rather, have recourse to God. ^B Your matchmaker will not be burdened. His own promise is: *Seek the kingdom of heaven, and all these things will be added to you* (Matt. 6:33). Do not say, "How can I see God? How can I hold a conversation with Him and ask Him directly?" Such words belong to a faithless soul. For God is able to accomplish whatever He wills in an instant, even without a voice; which is what happened here too. For he neither heard any voice nor saw any vision, but, standing by the spring and having prayed, he immediately obtained his request. It happened, the text says, that before he finished speaking, Rebecca came out with a water jar on her shoulder, the daughter of Bethuel, born of Milcah, a virgin very beautiful, a virgin and unknown to any man (Gen. 24:15–16). Why do you tell me of the beauty of her body? So that you might learn of her remarkable modesty, so that you might learn of the beauty of her soul. For modesty itself is an object of admiration, but even more so if it is joined with exceptional physical beauty. This is why, when the narrative is about to tell us of Joseph and his temperance, it first speaks of his exceptional physical beauty, saying that he was handsome and pleasing to the eye, and only then does it add the account of the young man’s temperance, showing that he did not use his beauty for licentiousness. ^C For the nature of the body is never the cause [of vice], just as physical deformity is not the cause of continence. For many illustrious women have become even more illustrious in appearance through their modesty, while others, ugly in countenance, have stained their souls with countless disgraces. In both cases, the cause is the purpose of the soul, not the nature of the body.

He calls her a virgin twice. For after he had said, *She was a virgin*, he added: *She was a virgin, and unknown to any man*. Because many virgins who keep their bodies uncorrupted have souls full of intemperance, and draw a crowd of lovers toward themselves, and by ensnaring the eyes of young men, lure them into their traps, leading them to the abyss, Moses, wishing to show that she was not like this, but was a virgin both in soul and in body, said, *She was a virgin, and unknown to any man*. Yet she had many opportunities through which she could have been known by men: first, the beauty of her body; then, the manner of her ministry, which she was accustomed to perform. For if she had sat continually in the bridal chamber, like the virgins of our time, and had not gone to the marketplace, nor left her father’s house, there would be no particular praise if it were said she was "unknown to any man." But when you see her going to the public place, and going daily to draw water once, twice, or often, and yet remaining unknown to any man, this is no small praise. For when it happens that a virgin rarely goes to the market, even if she is beautiful and accompanied by several maids, she might still lose her purity in such outings; but she who goes out alone every day from her father’s house, and not just into the market, but to the spring to draw water, where it is necessary for many others to gather, is she not worthy of great admiration? For her probity was not harmed by frequent exits from her house, nor by the remarkable beauty of her face, nor by the frequent encounters with young men, nor by anything else, while she kept her modesty in both soul and body more diligently than those who never leave their women’s apartments—she was truly such as Paul requires, saying, *That she may be holy in body and in spirit* (1 Cor. 7:34).

When she had filled her water jar and was returning, the servant met her and said: *Give me a little water to drink from your jar*. And she replied: *Drink, my lord*; and she quickly let down her jar upon her arm and gave him to drink until he ceased drinking. And immediately she said: *I will draw for your camels also, until they all have drunk*. And, hastening, she poured the water into the trough, and ran to the well to draw water for all the camels (Gen. 24:17–20). ^D The hospitality and modesty of Rebecca. Hospitality is not to be measured by expense. — Great is the hospitality of the woman, and great her modesty, as is evident from both her words and her deeds. Do you see how her modesty did not hinder her hospitality, nor her hospitality her modesty? That she did not approach first, nor call out to the man, was of her modesty; conversely, that she did not refuse his request, nor deny that she would do it, was an office of great hospitality and humanity. For just as she would have acted impudently if she had run up first and addressed the man of her own accord, so it would have been inhuman and barbaric if she had repelled the words of the pleader. But now she did neither: she did not fail in hospitality through a desire for modesty, nor did she diminish the praise of her reserve through a concern for hospitality, but she kept both virtues intact, demonstrating her modesty in that she waited to be asked; and her wonderful hospitality in that, once asked, she complied without delay. For it belonged to supreme hospitality not only to give what was requested but also to have provided more than he asked. And it does not matter that it was water which was offered, for that was all she had at the moment. For hosts are not to be judged by their expense, but by their resources; since God even praises him who gave a cup of cold water, and says that she who offered two copper mites...

^A had offered more than all, because she offered everything she had at that moment. Thus did she also entertain that noble man with these things, of which she had nothing better to offer him. Nor is it stated without cause that she "hastened and ran" and such things, but so that you might learn the eagerness with which she performed the action, not unwilling, not constrained, not begrudging, nor resentful. And that this is no small thing: often we have asked a passerby who was carrying water to stop a little so that we might drink, and he did not endure it, but was annoyed; yet she not only lowered her jar for him, but also drew water for all the camels, undergoing such labor, and bringing personal service to the act of hospitality with great kindness. For it shows her virtue, not in the mere doing, but in the doing with readiness. She calls a man lord who was a stranger and had only just appeared. And just as her kinsman Abraham did not ask those who passed by, "Who are you, and whence, and whither are you going? and whence have you come?" but simply gathered the fruit of hospitality; so also she did not say, "Who are you, and whence, and for what cause have you arrived?" but having gathered the wealth of hospitality, she let all extraneous matters go. For in fact those who buy pearls and receive gold seek only this: how they might profit from those who have the money, not how they might pry into their affairs. And she seeks only this: how she might receive the fruit of hospitality, how she might obtain the completed reward. She knew ^B clearly that a stranger is ashamed more than all people; for this reason, he requires much kindness and an uninquiring discretion; if, therefore, we intend to examine and pry into him, he shrinks away and withdraws, and approaches unpleasantly. For this reason, neither did she do this in this case, nor did the kinsman of this woman do it with strangers, lest he drive away the catch; but he only tended to those passing by, and, harvesting through them what he wished, thus sent them away.

8. For this reason he once received angels; for if he had pried into them, his reward for hospitality would have been diminished. For we admire him, not because he received angels, but because he received them while ignorant of who they were. For if he had known and tended them, he would have done nothing wonderful, as the dignity of those being received compels even the very stony-hearted and harsh to become humane and gentle; but this was the wonderful thing, that while thinking them to be mere travelers, he showed such care for them. Such also was this woman; she did not know who he was, nor why he had come, nor that he had come to betroth her, but thought him to be some stranger and wayfarer. For this reason her reward for hospitality became greater, that she received someone who was in no wise a known person with such goodwill, while at the same time preserving her modesty. For she did not do this brazenly or impudently, neither constraining nor acting with anger, but with the necessary gravity. For this very thing Moses hinted at, saying: "And the man was watching her, and stayed silent to know if the Lord had made his journey prosperous" (Gen. 24. 21). What is, "And was watching her"? He was examining accurately both her figure, and her gait, and her glance, and her speech, and everything, perceiving the disposition of her soul from the movements of her body. And he was not content with only these things, but brings a second test. Since she had given him to drink, he did not stop there, but said to her, "Whose daughter are you? Tell me, and is there with your father room to lodge?" What then did she do? Unoffendingly and meekly, she both told of her father, and did not resent it, saying, "Who are you to be prying, and asking, and inquiring into the house?" But what? "I am the daughter of Bathuel, son of Melcha, whom she bore to Nachor, and there is much straw and fodder with us, and a place to lodge" (Ib. v. 24, 25). Just as with the water, she gave more than he asked; for he asked only for a drink, but she promised to water the camels as well, and she watered them; so also here: he asked only for a space, but she offered both straw and fodder and many other things, calling him through all these things, and drawing him to the house, so that she might harvest the reward of hospitality. ^C

Let us not hear these things cursorily or simply, but pondering them within ourselves, and comparing them to these, thus we shall understand the virtue of the woman. For instance, often when we receive some acquaintances and friends we are annoyed, and if they tarry for one or two days, we are burdened; but she drew the unrecognizable stranger into the house with much eagerness, and this while about to provide care not only for him, but for so many camels. And after he entered, look from this point at his understanding even more. For when they set bread before him to eat, he says: "I will not eat, until I speak my words" (Gen. 24. 33). Do you see how he was vigilant and sober? Then, when he was permitted to speak, let us see how he discourses to them. Did he speak these words to them, that he had a prominent and brilliant master, honored by all, enjoying much preference from the locals? And yet, if he wished to say these things, he would not have lacked the opportunity; for the locals honored him in the rank of a king. But nevertheless he said none of these things, but leaving aside these human matters, he commends him to them through the divine favor from above, saying: "I am the servant of Abraham. The Lord has blessed my master greatly, and he has been exalted, and He has given him sheep, and oxen, and gold, and silver" (Gen. 24. 34, 35). Not to show him to be wealthy, but to show him to be a lover of God; for he wishes to praise the wealth not from the fact of his possessing it, but from the fact of his having received these things from God. Then, discoursing about the bridegroom: "And Sara, the wife of my master, bore a son to my master after he had grown old" (Gen. 24. 36). Here he hinted to me also the manner of the childbirth, showing that even the offspring came about from the providence of God toward him, not according to the course of nature. And so you, too, whether you seek a bridegroom or a bride, seek these things before others: whether they are God-loving, whether they enjoy much favor from above. For if those things are present, the others follow; but if these are not, even if they possess worldly goods with much freedom, there is no profit. Then, so that they might not say, "For what cause then did he take none of the local women?" "He made me swear," he says, saying: "You shall not... ^D

take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, but you shall go to the house of my father, and from my tribe you shall take a wife for my son." (Gen. 24:37, 38). But let us pass to the end, ^B so as not to seem bothersome by bringing the whole history into the middle. For when he had related how he stood by the spring, what he had asked of the maiden, how she had given more than was asked, how God had been the mediator, and had diligently reported all things, he finished his speech. Having heard all these things, they no longer doubted, nor did they neglect the matter, but as if divinely moved, they promised her without delay. And Laban and Bathuel answered and said: "This command has come forth from God; therefore we cannot contradict your petition. Behold Rebecca, take her and hasten, and let her be the wife of your lord, just as the Lord has spoken" (Gen. 24:50, 51). Who would not be astonished? Who would not marvel at how many difficulties were removed in a brief moment of time? For both that he was a stranger, and a servant, and unknown, and that the interval of the journey was long, and that neither father-in-law, nor bridegroom, nor any other of their relatives was known—each of these things by itself was enough to be an obstacle to the success of this marriage. Yet all these things were rendered easy, and they committed the bride to his keeping, just as if he were known, and lived nearby, and had spent his whole life among them, for this reason: because the matter was being conducted under God's guidance. For just as if we undertake anything with little favor, even if all things are plain and easy, we encounter pits and obstructions and countless frustrations along the way; so with Him present and helping, even if all the things we have in hand are most difficult, they become plain and easy. Let us therefore neither do nor say anything without invoking the Deity to direct the matters we are treating, as he did.

How the marriage was adorned.

Did he carry with him cymbals, pipes, dances, drums, flutes, and the other outward trappings? Nothing of these; but having taken her alone, he departed, with the angel conducting and accompanying her, whom the master, when he was sending his servant from the house, had petitioned for him from God. And so the bride was led, with no flutes or citharas playing, but crowned by countless blessings from God, in place of a crown more precious than any diadem. Moreover, she was led not clothed in garments of gold, but adorned with modesty, piety, hospitality, and all other virtues. She was led not in a covered carriage or in any similar apparatus, but sitting on a camel. For besides the virtues of the soul, the bodies of virgins in old times were also of the best condition. ^C For they were not educated by their mothers as is done today, among many perfumes and baths, cosmetics and pigments, in soft garments, and countless other modes of corrup- ^D tion, by which they are made softer than is right; but their upbringing was hard in every way. Wherefore their bodies flourished with native beauty, unaided by any external allurements, and they enjoyed health just as happy as their form, with no sickness troubling them, and all softness banished. For the labors and works in which they were exercised, being various, drove away all languor, but reconciled robust health to them, and rendered them all the more pleasing and amiable to their husbands; for thus not only bodies, but also souls progressed for the better. Having been carried on a camel, after she arrived at the destined region, having lifted her eyes from afar, she saw Isaac, and soon leaped from the camel. Do you see the strength? Do you see the good condition? She leaped from the camel; so much strength remained to her, together with modesty. And she said to the servant, "Who is that man who has walked into the field?" The servant replied, "He is my master." Then she, having taken her summer cloak, covered herself (Gen. 24:65). Observe the modesty of her whole manner, how shy and bashful she was. And Isaac took her as his wife, and loved her so much that he eased the grief which had befallen him from the death of his mother, Sarah (Gen. 24:67). These things are not said in vain, that he loved her, and that he had her for the solace of his mourning, but that you may learn by what things she enticed her husband to love her, which she had brought with her from home. For who would not love one such, so modest, so honest, so hospitable, humane, and amiable, strong in soul and robust in body? I have said these things so that you may not only hear, or applaud what you hear, but that you may also emulate. And fathers, indeed, emulate the providence of the patriarch which he used in preparing a wife, seeking not money, not splendor of family, not beauty of body, nor anything else except nobility of soul.

How daughters are to be educated by their mothers.

But you, mothers, take care to educate your daughters in this manner. Furthermore, let the grooms who are to take them, take them with similar honesty, exterminating laughter, dances, foul speech, flutes, pipes, that diabolic apparatus and other things of this kind, and always invoking God that He may be present as the mediator of all our actions. For if we shall have arranged our affairs in this way, there will be no divorce, no suspicion of adultery, or occasion of jealousy, no wrangling, no contention, but we will enjoy much peace and much concord, from which other virtues will not be absent. For just as when the wife is at variance with the husband there is nothing sound in the house, even if their affairs otherwise sail with a favorable wind; so while peace and concord remain, nothing will be unpleasant, even if very many storms happen daily. If marriages are reconciled in this way, we will be able to teach children virtue with great ease. For where the mother is so honest and sober, and endowed with every virtue, she will surely capture and bind her husband with desire for her; and thus she will hold him a ready helper in caring for and instructing their common children; and at the same time she will draw God to look upon them, under whose inspiration such honest administration of the house, and training of the children's souls, will make all things henceforth pleasant and happy, with matters so well composed, and those who preside so affected; and each one will be able, together with his house—namely, his wife, children, and servants—both to pass the present life securely and to attain to the kingdom of heaven, which may we all