and [whatever] would overturn the laws of piety and stray with wandering foot, he would cast away, and as those who embrace piety abhor useless things, so he abhorred them. But whatever would lead to a sound and right knowledge of the Creator of all things, he would kiss with a willing mind and with all readiness. And let these few things out of many suffice regarding George Lapitha. A
GEORGII LAPITHAE AD NICEPHORUM GREGORAM EPISTOLÆ TRES
(See in Nicephorus Gregoras, vol. CXLVIII, col. 57.)
VERSUS POLITICI EX TEMPORE FACTI, PALAMQUE OMNIBUS RECITATI SAPIENTISSIMI DOMINI GEORGI LAPITHE, CYPRII.
BEGINNING
Know thyself, O best of men, who you are and where you find yourself, And what life is set before you, and how you have been ordered to live. Do not consider living only for the day, as you do, Like a beast of the field deprived by nature of the power to reason. But great is the struggle now enjoined upon you, Which you must contest zealously and wisely; After the very brief time of this life B Another life shall receive you, possessing no end, In which you shall receive the rewards of how you have now lived: Either deepest darkness and bitter torment, Or bright light in the heavens and divine joy, And a dwelling with the angels and the glory of the kingdom. Do not, therefore, endure to spend the time of this life measured out to you In negligence and ease, Nor, again, to waste it on shameful deeds.
A For by how much more precious the life is than wealth, By so much greater is the harm to those who squander it badly. Therefore, ever consider how you must acquire good things. But rather, you must know what the good is before all things; For many have stumbled in their judgment of this, And, having run, through ignorance, toward that which is not good, They have fallen pitiably into the chasms of perdition.
First, you must acquire an unerring knowledge of things, Otherwise, without this, it is impossible to set your will or action aright. Know your own nature first of all, and the reason for its construction: How the incorporeal soul, both intellectual and divine, Immortal and indestructible, an image of the Primal Beauty, Is yoked to this body of clay, To that which is flowing continually like the stream of a torrent, Subject to passion, mutable, and in the end dissolving; And it does not escape from this bond, nor from its dwelling within, But loves the connection and cherishes the earthy, And guards the corruptible and cares for it, as it loves it, Providing eagerly for the things which are advantageous to it. How, in its ignorance of itself, it is enslaved to the body, Serving the pleasures and the splendors of life, And is compared to beasts, having fallen, alas, from God! How it is released by death, leaving its dust behind in the earth, And lives an incorporeal life in another state; How it will again receive the body that it had before, Incorruptible, light, passionless, transparent, and whole, And will live with it for the infinite time, Having gathered the fruits of what it sowed in this life.
Furthermore, consider the nature of this world, Lest the bright radiance of the light-bringing sun, Nor the choir of stars and their shimmering beauty, Nor the size of the heaven and its circular dances, And the disordered speed of its course, deceive your mind, B And you think its nature eternal and without beginning. For God alone is without beginning, a pre-eternal nature, Immutable, unending, the Substantial Basis of all things; All other things are creations of His.
For God brought them forth by His will alone, He holds them together and governs them, leading them to a divine end, And again He will transform them for the better. For the nature of the heavens will not always be in motion, Nor will the light-bearer (sun) go forth like a bridegroom from his chamber, Nor will the moon show forth manifold shapes, Approaching and again receding from the sun; Nor will night succeeding day reach its end; Nor will winds ever agitate the nature of the air, Nor will rain be brought down to enrich the fields, Nor will thunderbolts of fire be brought down to the earth, Nor will the shimmering of lightning illuminate the air, Nor will out-of-place noise of thunders strike the ears, Nor will greening vegetation spring from the earth, C Nor tree, nor any shrub, nor the nature of grass at all; Nor will the race of water-creatures live in the waters, Nor will the leaping of the dolphin give confidence to seafarers, Nor will ships travel the sea like winged creatures, Nor will swimming birds fly through the air; Nor will the songs of nightingales murmur through Groves and gardens, and thickets, and the beauties of paradise; Nor will the earth be adorned with the herds of animals. No marriage will be joined together in the seasons of Spring, No birth, no nursing, no rearing at all; But all the corruptible race will suddenly perish, And the heaven will stop its course at the nod of the Master, And the sun will stand fixed toward the east in its light-bearing presence, While the moon, all-radiant, will set its torch toward the west, Of which the light of the stars, with their bright shimmerings, D Being darkened, will depart, appearing not at all; And this entire world will be transformed Unto immutable incorruptibility and beauty beyond nature. And it will henceforth be unchangeable for the ages, A most beautiful dwelling-place for the blessed ones of that time. Since you have known your nature and that of this world,
A seek what end of the entire life is set before you. For this is by all means the end and the good defined for you, towards which I urge you to stretch your zeal, neglecting the others. Since your life is twofold, both the present and the future, in the future the end has been clearly defined for you, which the Oracles define as the kingdom of heaven, a blessed portion, and eternal glory. But what you must do in the present life, that you may attain in the future to the mentioned glory? You must acquire intense love for the first Beauty with all your strength and all your mind, and steadfast faith and sure hope. This could clearly come about through the working of the life-giving commandments of God and Master, through which the soul is cleansed of low filth, and rises toward the first beauty of the Image, and mirrors the beauty of God through enigmas that are flashing and hidden, and charm the minds of the wise. This is the end of your zeal in the present life; and all other things you must refer to this end. Since you are joined to a corruptible body, dearest one, and must obey the ordinances of the Creator and Master, you must by all means use the body and the things useful to it. B But the good things of the body—strength, health, beauty—you must not consider worthy of the most perfect zeal. For nature gives them as it may give; and health is acquired and again flows away. Care for this alone, for the sake of the works of the soul; for the soul uses it as an instrument for every action, and if it becomes distorted, the work is not performed correctly. But you must care for the good things of the soul with all zeal—first for the sciences that are in philosophy, and for their companion virtues; for these are a world that is truly proper to souls, beautiful, and lasting; it makes the possessor noble in the present life, and in the future provides bright renown. You must also by all means have craft for the actions of life. And you must, for your circumstances and your station, practice useful crafts, and prepare yourself as an instrument fit for the actions of life. You must especially pursue the crafts that are common and necessary for all, and be exercised in them. These are rhetoric and the craft of the laws. For no one, deprived of these, can ever perform the actions in life correctly. For how will one who does not know how to speak converse with his neighbors? Therefore, by honoring and choosing each of the good things in the mentioned measure, you will in no way err. But in order that you may deliberate and cut your thoughts straight, you must clearly know your present circumstances, first your own, what you are in nature and in your fortune, C that you may adapt a life fitting for yourself. Then, of the city in which you have been posted to live, [know] the customs and the rulers, the characters of the citizens, and the supply of useful things, as many as belong to the inhabitants. For the races of men are by nature common, fond of tribes and fond of glory, pleasure-loving in character, D faithless, cowardly, changeable, envious, dejected, preferring for the most part what is more than equality, and valuing the good things of fortune above all, and they joyfully waste their lives for their sake. Nevertheless, each city and region is by nature [found] to have customs that differ by the greatest variations; and you must by all means accurately know the characters of the citizens, and learn [them].
A So that you may speak in season to every person’s character, And not stumble by falling suddenly into the unexpected. If, therefore, you have stored up the knowledge of what has been said, You will be able to deliberate rightly on the matters at hand. Let counsel precede every word and action for you, For the word of the wise man must not be without profit. Yet to speak rashly, without careful consideration, Is not only vain, but also dangerous; For many have found great harm from rash speech. But in cases where there is no danger, laughter surely follows, For the chatterer seems foolish and light-headed, And to all, burdensome and unpleasant to be with. You must therefore consider intelligently and many times before you speak, Who you are, and for whose sake, and about what you are conversing; And weigh your words according to the need and the occasion; Then speak sensibly and gently, and concisely. But if you have nothing useful and becoming to say, It is better to cherish silence as a sacred thing, And to rouse the mind to the investigation of what is necessary. Do not dare even to set your hand to deeds without counsel, For action without counsel misses its end, And brings loss upon the doer and casts him into calamities. But if someone has succeeded in the end after acting without counsel, It is rare in any case, and you must not emulate such people. Deliberate with much thought on the things to be done. And swiftly execute what has been decided by counsel. It is necessary to foresee the future before the due time, And to deliberate and arrange your actions before the occasion, Lest the shortness of time, urging on, Should prevent you from preparing the necessary things well. This belongs to sensible foresight, this to a perfect mind. But if a deep and great matter is ever set before you, Do not stubbornly rely on your own reasonings, But call upon advisors who are wise and well-disposed, And who have experience of similar actions. B And cherish the counsel of these, and act according to reason. But if you need counsel from others regarding some secret matter, Explain the need and the case as to a stranger, So that, having gained the counsel, you may escape shame. Analyze the actions that you have often performed, And mark the mistakes and the causes thereof, And take heed not to fall into the same ones again. The exhortations of wise and experienced men Learn diligently and hold them before the moment of need, So that for every occasion you may be ready to use them, And help those who are in need because of similar needs. Go through the ancient histories for me with zeal, Observing diligently the actions and the fortunes, And what they successfully accomplished, and how, and by what means, And in what they suffered setback, and for what cause, And what turns fortune took for men, Turning the things of life up and down, And shifting these quickly to the opposite. For thus you will gather the greatest wisdom in a short time. Since the short-lived nature of human life Has deprived man of long experience, From which the beauty of wisdom is rightly gathered; The actions of the ancients can supply this. For we see these clearly in written accounts, As if we were present at those times and those manners. Frequent the doors of wise and prudent men, And listen to their words sensibly and eagerly, And write these into the tablets of memory into the depths; For nothing is to be preferred to wisdom and virtue, Neither silver, nor gold, nor the beauty of the pearl, Nor the transparency of precious and foreign stones. Through which the depths of sea and land are explored For all is by nature matter, soulless and without life.
C Which entice the senseless with their apparent beauty. Spurn your body's pleasures completely, and count nothing a good or a thing to be pursued by men, but only what is necessary for humans to possess. For since the human frame is transient and mortal, D treatment (with food) provides a remedy for the flow, and marriage consoles the severance of death. But since no one would choose to do these things (I mean food and marriage) if pleasure were absent, the cunning Creator inserted pleasure into nature as a bait, by a wise artifice. Therefore, by following the divine aim, choosing those of the pleasures that are necessary, you would be thinking rightly in your actions, while fleeing the others from afar, like Charybdis or Scylla, or even the destructive songs and melodies of the Sirens.
The agitation and boiling of laughter, and a dissipated character, and the shamelessness of the glance along with the twitching of the brows, and a womanish gait and the wriggling of the loins, and an excessive preoccupation with hair-cutting and the arrangement of the locks, are a clear proof of psychic depravity. Do not defile your tongue with shameful and dirty words, and close your hearing to shameless speech; for it is shameful to do, and to say, and to hear, such things. Flee also the love of laughter, as something reprobate, and laughable stories and the mockery of chance encounters; for all these things relax the tension of the soul, and render it slack and overly listless. Songs destroy the mind, ache the head, undo temperance and banish shame, provoke the tongue to shameful prattle, and clearly prepare one to commit the most shameful acts, while making the one ensnared ridiculous to all. Therefore, flee wine-parties and private sittings. A I advise you to flee them decorously, with plausible excuses, so that you do not appear to flee company out of enmity. The decadence of banquets, and the art of seasoning, and a feverish table, and kinds of delicacies, bring to the throat a pleasure that is fleeting and brief, changing into excrement after three hours' time. Do not, then, admire these things, nor wish to pursue them. Sleep is an imitation of death, an inactivity of the senses, and a cessation of reason, the finder of dreams; a moderate sleep is a resting place for the hard-working flesh; but an excessive one is a loosening of the soul, the offspring of sloth, the begetter of intemperance, the destroyer of deeds. Flee the company of strange women, and especially the sight of those who are fair and young, and of the wanton ones even more, in their deeds than in their manners. For the sight of them is a poisoned arrow, and their words are a sharp spear wounding the heart. Do not consider every sorrow to be avoidable, my child, just as you should not consider every pleasure to be worthy of choice. For it is not possible to accomplish anything noble without pain. Push far away hesitation, flee sloth; nor can you receive crowns without much sweat. Be eager in noble deeds night and day; for do not, by fearing the labor that sits alongside your activities, hold back from acting and from the B good. Endure impending calamities with nobility, knowing that it is not ours to change these things, but they are of divine providence, and nature, and fortune; but to bear calamities is not a matter of judgment, but of necessity, while to bear them nobly and well is the sign of a worthy man. Do not reveal your misfortunes to anyone, so that you do not delight your enemies and grieve your friends, unless you have need of counsel regarding your misfortune; for only then, trust in that counselor.
If A a tyrant persecutes you for the sake of piety, do not fear wounds of the flesh, nor the mutilation of limbs, nor the taking away of life, at least of this temporal one. But eagerly seize the glory of the martyrs, and exchange a small pain for eternal honor. For to die is common to the base and the noble alike, but to die for Christ is for the truly excellent.
If any barbarian nation, having campaigned against your fatherland, threatens a dire captivity, do not be struck with fear and basely betray those dearest to you out of cowardice, luxury, and softness of mind. But go forth eagerly and encounter the enemies, and show a grim countenance and a courageous heart, and a prompt impulse and an untiring hand. Even if you win, you have saved your wife and children, parents, and all your friends, and your most beloved fatherland, and all will admire you, and you will have great honor. But if it happens that you die while acting excellently, your honor will lie eternal in the city. For if you do not die this noble death, you would by no means escape an ignoble and base one.
Be eager to emulate those who excel and are brave men, and go out to war with them, if possible; for in this way you will most easily become an imitator of them.
If B you are counted among the ranks of the military and excel in your order, know your dignity and be minded in a fitting way. You are a guardian of the city and of the entire fatherland, being as much superior to towers and walls as the creature who is sensible and alive is better than stones. Therefore, possess a mind worthy of your rank, and procure salvation for the city in times of danger, struggling and acting as a scout and ambusher before all others, grappling bravely in the fight, and enduring with good heart, obeying the signals of the general gladly, and you will have the reward of virtue and honor that remains forever. If you wish to be capable and proven in arms, be eager to be always present in the councils of the general with the esteemed, and to listen to everyone, but especially to those who are good and most experienced, and to store their counsels in your mind.
When at leisure from war, make hunting your pursuit. For hunting is the greatest training for war, teaching one to ride, to flee and to pursue, and to endure hunger, thirst, cold, and heat. Be eager to practice the skillful handling of weapons before the war and modes of horsemanship, so that you do not appear clumsy in war and become ridiculous through inexperience with weapons. Learn thoroughly the tactics and ways of war, and the kinds of spears, and feigned retreats, and pursuing again, and all other considerations that are used in war. For wars are not achieved less by prudence than by bravery and the hand and the power of weapons.
Make your temper subject to your reason, and accustom it not to spring forward and bark disorderly before the consideration of reason and the judgment of what must be done; and do not let it be too eager and run wild, throwing out inarticulate cries and rolling its eyes, and showing the captured man outright mad. Nor stir this temper up often and irrationally, begging for revenge for great and small matters, and being difficult and complaining to everyone. For this becomes burdensome and very taxing to those who are with such a person, and all flee him as a scourge and a goad.
But you must, knowing the weakness of your nature and how easily it slips, and how faulty and irrational it is, grant forgiveness to all for small sins, and accurately investigate in speech the causes of great ones, lest perhaps ignorance or some other form of error has caused the transgression; and judge by this measure. Do not keep anger for a long length of time, looking for the proper moment for retaliation.
A But rather, [seek] from him who is able to spare those who grieve you; for this is truly divine and of the greatest virtue.
Strive to acquire money 8 in proportion to your need. Define the measure of need by the health of the body. Banish indulgence and superfluous things from your life, as an ill-contrived discovery of a desperate soul, one that has utterly forgotten its noble fatherland.
Do not acquire 9 things that are not proper, nor even desire them. Plan to acquire for yourself only what is necessary through just means. Do not spend all your life on acquisition; for this is neither the good nor the final end for you. But put effort into providing leisure for your reasoning, so that it might be able to acquire some of the things that are precious. B Do not consider wealth 10 to be precious in itself, and do not stretch all your effort toward the acquisition of it. Do not wish for shameful gain, but push it away completely. For poverty with virtue is more precious than gold. A foolish rich man is like an ass carrying gold; but to be rich with virtue brings much gain; for the wise man 11 is able to use all things rightly.
Define your expenses 12 according to the proper measures, where it is necessary and how much, how and when it is necessary, and where, with precise and tested calculations. For an irrational desire is blind to what must be done. Do not hold back your hand where you ought to spend, or neither spend at all, or [spend] less than is required; for this is [the mark] of avarice and ignobility, and what sometimes seems to be a gain from such things causes great harm and the shame of dishonor. Neither, on the other hand, should you extend your expenses beyond what is required, yielding to the unrestraint of intemperance, or to the untimely calculations of vainglory, or to some other vanity and want of sense; for this is [the root] of a harsh disease, which they call dissipation; and very rightly, for it does not save the possessor 14 until the end, but quickly makes the well-off man destitute.
But wanting to give gifts 15, never give to flatterers and corrupt men; for you sin doubly: you make them worse, and you lose 16 what has been given.
A Strive to benefit the good, with reason, judging both measure and time and place and need. If you promise to give something to someone, give it quickly; do not, by seeming to repent, cause the grace to vanish. The promise is a courtesy, but the repayment is a debt. Provide the money you promised in full; for the recipient does not rejoice as much in receiving as he is pained and vexed if he receives less. Never reproach anyone for a kindness you have performed, for you destroy the grace. The man who is shamed is pained and seeks retaliation; and the one you had as a debtor, you have made an enemy. Forget quickly those you have benefited. But if you have received a kindness from someone, remember it constantly, being grateful unceasingly. For ingratitude is a terrible disease; and if it is in your power, try to pay back favors, not as less than those you received, but as more abundant. For this is both fair and advantageous. Everyone willingly benefits a grateful man; but no one [benefits] the ungrateful, for he wastes the gift, just as one censing a corpse for something that does not perceive it.
To sympathize with the unfortunate and to assist those in need, nature and law exhort, and they define penalties for the inhumane and the hard-hearted, and for those who do not kindly assist the needy in the necessities of life. Feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty in need, clothe the naked, call the homeless into your house, visit the sick often with diligence, going to those in prisons give words of goodwill, for those crushed and tormented in any way, console them, lightening the weight of their pains. For a wise word is a medicine for a pained soul, and especially if it is brought forth with a kind mind. If you give anything to the poor, or otherwise do good, consider it lending to God, who willingly repays debts to all with great interest. Therefore you must stretch out a rich hand for mercy.
B If you are lacking in money, measure also the gift—for God asks for good deeds according to one's ability, seeing the disposition of the soul and weighing the intent, and He prefers two mites to gifts of many talents. If you are entirely without means, offer only your goodwill; sigh with those who are toiling and suffering, truly bend to the despondency of the poor; pity the unfortunate and console them with words. For sympathizing truly brings relief of sorrow. And a great reward is stored up for a merciful heart. For he who considers the misfortunes of others as his own, in his own misfortunes has many companions, and obtains much consolation from God.
Do not become a seeker of empty and temporary glory, nor desire honor—the phantasm of vanity. For such things are counterfeit, the testimony of fools, and all things easily change into their opposites. But praise and honor the glory that lies above for you. Do not let the terrible desire for power sicken your soul, and do not crave rule as if you excel all. For God greatly hates a proud heart; and He alone is by nature Lord and Potentate, and to whom He wills He gives the authority of the earth. And yet this is somehow a thing of contempt; for in others is the power and the strength of rule, who can both give and again take away. Therefore the one who rules tries to serve even these, and in a way is a slave to his subjects.
C Do not be puffed up with arrogance and lift your eyebrow, walking upon your toes and stretching out your neck, and considering yourself superior to all, thinking highly of little things and things worth nothing. Know your nature to be perishable and full of filth, and fortune again to be unstable and all things of fortune, and curb your pride and flee from deception. If virtue is precious to you, this comes from God. D
A
And may you not be harsher than the fortune at hand; For fortune is common, and the future is unknown.
Be conciliatory to all, and friendly, and kindly, In speech approachable, and in character pleasing; This is the medicine of friendship and the lure of the heart. But the one who is sullen-faced and frowning Is an unpleasant encounter for those he meets. Do not act as a slave in your dealings with all, Hunting for empty glory and soul-corrupting gains; For these things are alien to virtue, And becoming to slaves rather than to the free; Equal in evil are these qualities and those of the proud, Even if they appear to be opposed in different ways. For both, by honoring the things of fortune Beyond what is fitting, are lifted, one to great heights, While the other sinks into servility and slave-like ways. For that through which the one is exalted, the other is humbled, And to obtain these things he does everything and acts.B But you, by pruning the root, would not produce the branches, By valuing each of existing things in fitting measure.
Strive to possess justice by every means; For this is the ornament of virtues, the mother of concord, The bond of the commonwealth, the mother of prosperity, The destroyer of enmity, of war, and of bitter faction. First, adorn yourself with the works of justice, By setting reason as governor and administrator of the rest. Let not anger tyrannize, nor again desire, And let it not drag reason violently into [evil] actions; For by nature reason is lord of the rest, And it is fitting that it hold the reins of the soul, And that the others be obedient to it and yield,C Not at all resisting, nor being insubordinate. This is for the good order of the soul and for righteous action. Then order your house as is right, Framing laws for what is necessary and judging according to reason. Cherish your wife, as your own member by natural union; For God has united her, and nature, and the law; And consider this partnership to be inseparable; For she is a partner in life and a co-worker for [your] children. Share with her equally in the necessities of life,D
food, and shelter, and every other care. Nature, raising, and the measure of age, B hold an equal value in these matters for her as for yourself; and she must be regarded as an equal partner in the marriage bed. But you exist as lord and master of the rest, and as the head of your wife, and the director of the house. But if she wishes to usurp your authority, and to manage, as she desires, both money and servants, and looks upon you as a slave and counts you as nothing, punish and lash her immediately as a tyrant, and exact from her a penalty for her irrational daring, and persuade her to be sensible and to submit in an orderly manner. For this brings both order and glory to you and to her; but for her to rule is a disgrace to both. For they call her violent, predatory, shameless, insulting, profligate, and bold; and they call you cowardly, unmanly, bereft of sense, and useless for every public work. For how is he not a fool who knows not how to govern a house? And how will he who is so C lacking in courage as to be overcome by a woman perform public duties? How will he face his enemies? How will he not shamefully become a spoil for all? Do not say that you endure this willingly out of love, for you double your own shame by saying these things, since you unworthily add unmanliness to unmanliness. Admonish her constantly and teach her better things, and recall her when she stumbles with all foresight. In small matters, be lenient and pretend not to see; for she is weaker in both nature and judgment. Do not frequently provoke her and break the bond of friendship. Grant her the small things so that you may have a reasonable and just excuse in the great ones. Do not uncover your secret to her at all; for a woman is by nature unrestrained in tongue and talkative. Guard against plots and intrigues, and let nothing that happens at home escape you. D And words offered [in exchange], and that of a companion, will provide you the means to divine her complete intent. Regulate her toward work and the care of the house. For idleness is a teacher of evil to women. Do not let old, gossiping, and base women near the door of your house. Without your permission, let not your wife go out; and let her go out rarely, when great need calls, accompanied by dignified attendants and handmaids. Let her never remain outside your house at night, unless it be in the house of her father, mother, and brothers, and this only when necessity and great urgency press. By cosmetic sophistries and lying beauty, allow her not at all to disgrace her natural beauty. The wearing of much gold and of stones and pearls brings no ornament to women who are trained to be sensible. Drunkenness is a most shameful and disorderly thing for a woman. Utter to her solemn words of piety, as much as is fitting for a woman and as much as is necessary. Explain the divine things to her, and put forward saving words clearly and briefly at all times; for you have been appointed the teacher of those in your house. Nature and all law teach you to love your children, and the multitude of birds that love their fledglings. For the nature of one's offspring is a second self, and it preserves the succession of the paternal lineage, as if the father were himself blooming again and returning from old age to the nature of a child. Therefore, parents ought to grieve for and care for their children as they do for themselves. Rear them carefully, therefore, and cherish and embrace them, and provide for their benefit hereafter. Arrange for them to learn letters first; for the knowledge of these is the greatest light to the soul and opens the door to the meadows of reason.
A For these provide the necessities of life and procure for each person glory according to his worth.
Since these things are often grievous to the young, encourage them toward good deeds with praises, and turn them away from evils by reprimanding the acts themselves. If this is not enough for you, you must also introduce fear, and restrain those who are headstrong with unsparing correction: for it is better to cause them small pain and save them, and later have them turn out to be useful men, than to spare them for the moment and make them worthless. For what profit will there be in those who have become worthless, to whom even life is harmful and for whom death is a gain?
Therefore, take care in every way of their virtue, habituating them to the most excellent things and admonishing them in words, and setting your own life as an example for them. Accustom them to master their pleasures, their temper, and their tongue, so that they may prove themselves temperate, orderly, and gentle. Accustom them also to work eagerly for good things, and not to let time slip away foolishly through sloth: for diligence is the mother of good things, while sloth is the mother of evil ones, and what diligence gained, sloth has destroyed.
Persuade them to despise terrible things and passing dangers for the sake of pious worship and the life to come. Teach them to be just and friendly toward all, and not to chase after perishing wealth insatiably. Guard your daughter, keeping her locked within the house, prepare her to learn the necessary arts, to practice temperance and silence above all, and to take care of every other virtue. Marry her off as soon as she has reached maturity, so that you do not grow weary with keeping watch and worry. B For the twentieth year is suitable for marriage. When you give her away, do not think that she is becoming a stranger: for your children remain yours by nature, even if they require less of your providence than before.
Every law, natural and written, human and divine, commands one to love and honor parents. For indeed, after God, there is nothing more precious to children than their parents, nor can there be: they provide the very being to those who come after them. They naturally yearn for everything that is the cause of their own existence; furthermore, they rear them with all eagerness, train them in arts with great expense, and habituate them diligently in the finest works, instructing them in virtue and adorning their souls. C Then, D providing them generously from their own means, they give them the resources for life at their marriage.
You must therefore honor them as the cause of your existence, love them as your nurturers, obey them as your trainers and first teachers, and love them as benefactors whom you owe much. How can you ever pay back suitable thanks to a father? Even if you pay him back with money most generously, and you instruct him where it is needed and teach him arts, you will not be able to beget him back at all, nor to rear him as an infant with the same warm love. Even if it were possible for you to pay back everything in equal measure, it is impossible for you to initiate the gratitude toward him: you remain therefore always a debtor, because he has already taken the lead. As it is impossible for you to pay him back a debt of equal worth, pay back as much as you can, and perform deeds pleasing to God. By honoring him and loving him with your whole soul, and by working alongside him in all things and sharing in his needs—not as providing your own things to him as a favor, but as paying a most necessary debt, and truly believing that you are always in debt to him—you perform these things. Respect your father as your natural master, and strive to obey his commands; for he does things that are both just and profitable for you. By receiving fatherly rebukes readily, you will easily be delivered from the illnesses of the soul. He who does not honor those who gave him birth provokes God; for he is revealed to be a transgressor of His commandment. Whoever pushes away fatherly admonitions far from himself suffers from an incurable and grievous madness; for from whom else could he receive a word for his healing?
If these things are not enough for you, one must also introduce fear, and curb the headstrong with unsparing chastisement; for it is better, having caused them a little pain, to save them and for them to turn out to be useful men later, than by sparing them for a moment to make them worthless. For what profit will there be in those who have become worthless? Therefore take care in every way of their virtue, accustoming them to the most excellent things and admonishing them in words, and setting your own life as an example for them. Accustom them to master pleasures, and anger, and tongue, so that they may prove temperate, orderly, and gentle. Accustom them to work eagerly for good things, and not to let time slip away foolishly through sloth; for diligence is the mother of good things, and sloth of evil things, and what diligence gained, sloth destroyed. Persuades them to despise terrible things and passing dangers for the sake of pious worship and the life to come. Teach them to be just and friendly to all, and not to pursue perishing money insatiably; shield your daughter and keep her within the house, and prepare her to learn necessary arts, to exercise temperance and silence before all, and to take care of every other virtue. Marry off the daughter who has reached maturity as quickly as possible, lest you grow weary from keeping watch and worrying. The twentieth year is the time fitting for marriage. Do not think that in giving her away you are alienating her: for children remain yours by nature, even if they need less of your providence than before. Parents, all laws command us to love and honor them, the natural and the written, the human and the divine. For there is nothing after God more precious to children than their parents, nor can there be. They provide the being to those born of them again. And they yearn naturally for the cause of their own existence. Furthermore, they rear them with all eagerness, and train them with arts at great expense, and habituate them diligently in the finest works, teaching them unto virtue and adorning their souls.
On the companionship of brothers
The companionship of brothers is the sweetest thing of all, and to cooperate and help one another in actions, even to the very hairs. For both are branches grown from the same root, and have shared in the same upbringing. To not love one's brother and share, as is right, is a denial of blood and a rejection of parents, and a clear lawlessness against common habit and nourishment. For habit is a maker of friendship, as the common customs of the irrational animals show. And the sharing of the same table and salt was so highly esteemed by the ancients, that they even introduced a law that those who share a table must not kill one another at all. Since therefore there are so many rights belonging to brothers, how should such people not owe love to one another? Who would ever want to acquire a friend who is a brother-hater, unless he were mad and damaged in his mind? For he who has torn apart so many bonds of friendship—
A if you have a servant who is useful, well-disposed, and diligent, hold him as more precious than a brother, and never grieve him for the sake of money, nor strive to take anything that belongs to him. For each of us must consider our own things common to our brother, and consider his things as one’s own. This is both brotherly and just. When your brother succeeds, consider his glory your own, and if he is unfortunate, share his fate out of necessity. And never let a malicious thought provoke you to quarrel with your brother or strive to surpass him. For such strife is blameworthy and ends in enmity. But to emulate his virtues and desire to imitate them is praiseworthy and useful for the acquisition of the best things. Praise your brother with dignity and moderation; for to not praise him at all reveals malice, and to praise him immoderately makes it look like you are seeking to claim the glory for yourself. Do not allow your ear to receive whisperings against your brother, nor believe that anyone is more well-disposed to you than he. Overcome your brother’s anger and insolence with your own gentleness, and you will win over your brother and gain praise from all. Share your counsel, cooperation, joy, and misfortune, and every other fate with your brother, and as much as possible, desire to spend your days together, provided that your occupation does not pull you away by force; for distance breaks the bonds of friendship.
Take care of your servants in two ways: first, as your own possessions, and second, as those who possess an equal natural dignity to your own; for together you shall stand before the Creator and Master. Gladly provide them with their necessary needs, and distribute tasks to them wisely. Do not subdue them with harsh and heavy works, nor strain them with labors beyond what is moderate, and do not suffer them to be idle or sluggish at all times; for the former destroys their bodies, the latter their souls. The one is cruelty, the other is sloth. Correct a base servant with moderate punishments, and strive in every way to pull him away from wickedness. Give a servant who has tripped the opportunity to offer a defense, and listen to his reasoned account with gentleness. Even if it seems evident to you that he has sinned willingly, show him the nature of his fault with long-suffering, and then punish him, if it seems right, in proportion to his faults.
If servants have a dispute among themselves, hear them with intelligence, and judge justly, and without any anger, carry out what has been decided. B For good counsel is for those who are wise, not for the wealthy. Love your servants as children and do them good, and if they err, rebuke them as a father, so that you may exist for them as someone venerable and beloved. Do not play with your servants in a childish or ridiculous manner. Do not speak foully to them, nor chatter idly at all; for you loosen their restraint, and they will despise you, and become bolder in their contradictions, and if you should later wish to frighten them with punishments, you will find them hardened and disobedient to torments; for a soul that despises cannot feel fear.
If you have a servile lot, bear this with nobility, not dejected because you are—as it were—deprived of freedom, nor consider yourself more dishonorable because of this. For the Word shows three kinds of freedom: one is of nature, another is of fortune, and the third is of the deliberate choice of virtue. The first is that you are equal to all men by nature, C bearing the image and form of the King of all. You have authority over the second, that of deliberate choice; and if you desire to pass your life in diligence, you shall become more honorable than the man who wears the crown; for Paul was far more glorious than Nero. The third, that of fortune, is by nature unstable and does not remain; for often a slave rises to freedom, and war enslaves—alas!—those who are free, suddenly and contrary to expectation. For servitude is clearly a fruit of injustice; therefore, love the fortune you have drawn. Be well-disposed to your master and serve him with sincerity. Be diligent and faithful in his household. Honor him as a master, love him as a guardian; bear with nobility his insulting and his lashes, if it should happen; for whether you suffer these things justly or unjustly, you will have great profit if you bear them with endurance. Do not be a grumbler, nor disobedient, nor sluggish, nor ill-disposed, nor treacherous, nor a plotter. D Do not hide from your master any secret conspiracies.
A Bringing him insults or loss of money, Do not cooperate with those who are eager to harm him; And do not be seen as worse than a dog regarding your master, But carefully watch over his whole household. Regard your fellow servants as brothers, and strive to love them. Do not slander a fellow servant falsely to your master, Nor ever grudge when you see him faring well, But share in his pain, and console him with words. Since you have settled in a city and live among men, Take care to distribute duties to each as is fitting. Believe first in God, the Creator of all, As a Trinity of persons, simple, one essence, Co-glorious, co-enthroned, the Sovereign of all, And B of the angels, the choirs, the incorporeal minds. Love Him with all your soul and strength, As greatest, as fairest, as marvelous in nature, As creator, as provider, as benefactor of all, As one who clearly excels father and mother In loving and caring for us, the unworthy. Place all your hopes in Him alone, The helper in evils, the savior in dangers, The provider in necessities, the defender in battles, In misfortunes the consolation, in sorrows the joy. For He alone is a mighty and all-powerful ruler, Upon whom he who trusteth firmly is not put to shame. But whoever has placed his hopes upon a mortal man Has turned out wretched in his unwise opinion; For he built the house of his life upon sand, And has planted his feet upon slippery rock, Which, shaken easily by some pretext, Overturned, it suffers a pitiful fall. Let the fear of God be your constant companion, And, as if He were present, regulate your words and deeds; For not even the slightest thing escapes His eye. For He searches in detail the kidneys and the heart, And He counts the hairs of the head and the nature of the sand. Weighing words and deeds and the hidden thoughts of the soul Most accurately with the scales of justice, He compensates everyone according to the worth of their works, Subjecting the wicked to painful punishments, But deeming the good worthy of the inheritance above. C Prayer to God, fervently, night and day, With a boiling soul and wakefulness, In a humble mind and a contrite heart, And with tearful groans and a stream of tears, Asking for the release of faults and of those things that bring grief, And for the illumination of the mind and the strengthening of the heart, And for the attainment of good things by the cooperation of grace. For such prayer bears much profit; For just as one who converses with the king of victory Receives courage toward him and the greatest boldness, So the one who prays often during the day Becomes familiar with God through habit, And bringing his petitions with confidence, He draws much assistance for his subsequent life, And is not easily captured by enemies or demons. One must honor, love, and fear the king; For he is appointed by God, and he portrays Him, Being superior to every status and honor, And providing for all and worrying sleeplessly. All are obliged to serve him faithfully With an honest mind and with all due obedience. For one must honor the dignity of the royal power, And love the guardian, and fear the strong one, All of which have converged around the king. And those who serve him faithfully and genuinely Will attain a good end and a worthy reward. For in the hand of God is the heart of the king. D Those who weave treachery against him unlawfully Will not escape the penalties established by the laws, But when discovered, they are judged as rebels against God; For they become violators of divine commands, And destroyers of the commonwealth and the laws. For he does not have authority like the many, But he has power over all and possesses great might, He removes nations and cities with a single nod, And he easily raises up those who have fallen, if he wills; For the power that clothes him is divine, not human— A monarch unaccountable, the sovereign of all. One must fear and revere the public magistrates; The authority within which they rule is royal, And through them the king fulfills his operations, As through able and approved instruments; But he who dishonors them treats the ruler with insolence. If you are entrusted by someone with a public office,
A avoid being puffed up by your rank; for it blooms for but a brief time, and then it flows away. With counsel and reflection, direct your votes; for justice easily eludes the negligent. Do not accept the face of friends, nor of the poor, in judgment; do not stand in awe of a powerful man, nor pay heed to bribes. But bring forth your judgment as lawful and just. Punish those who are condemned, not out of anger or for pleasure, but as a champion of the law and a guardian of justice, pitying those unfortunate ones in their calamity, while being bound to obey the law by necessity. Do not be a harsh listener to those being judged, but listen to all with cheerfulness and forbearance; nor listen to any plea for justice listlessly, lest the merits of those being judged escape you; but with great attention and all precision, listen and remember everything said. For to listen carelessly is near to not listening at all. And examine wisely, and seek out the truth; for when some part of the deeds is unknown, the case immediately becomes different. Do not put off the time, wasting judgment on delays; for even if you decide justly, but after a long time, you have indeed removed the prior offense by your vote, yet you have wronged him by dragging it out for a long time, leaving him idle from the deeds useful to himself, and a provider for rhetoricians, clerks, and executioners, and perhaps [suffering a loss] greater than the gain of the trial from the idleness and the expense. Therefore you must be hardworking and diligent in listening and seeking and finding the truth. And after the truth of all that has been done, diligently look to justice according to the laws. And if you are at a loss for advisors, use those who are legal-minded and just. And having found the justice of the matter, declare it concisely, and finish what has been decided quickly and concisely, not yielding to anyone and curtailing the votes. For a judge who is just in word but does not finish in deed is hated correctly and justly by those wronged; for he deprives them of the rights from the law, and he is greatly despised by those who do wrong, and he is called ridiculous and sluggish. And such a man also becomes a fellow worker to those who do wrong, lawlessly taking away the vindication that comes from the laws, A and makes the food of the unjust. Truly nothing is worse than a base judge; for he abolishes laws and corrupts the state, and makes the inhabited world destitute of justice. A good judge must be learned in the laws; for a judge ignorant of the law, and a physician ignorant of disease, the one multiplies wounds, the other injustice. Furthermore, he must be just and a friend of justice, so that he may not clearly do things contrary to his purpose; for how will he who wills unjust things produce justice? For the unmusical cannot sing musically. Furthermore, he must be hardworking and diligent, so that B trials may not be delayed through negligence. In addition, it is necessary to be active and courageous, so that he may completely finish the things decided through deeds; for this is the natural end of judge and law, the complete and just vindication of offenses. C Choose the magistrates under you with counsel, and examine their dispositions precisely; entrust offices to the wise and the just, and investigate their actions frequently; and if you find they have transgressed, correct them immediately; for whatever unjust things such men do, you are responsible for them all, and you shall give an account to God. Do not consent to the wicked, nor share in their counsel, so that you may not seem responsible for their injustice. Flee from me, I pray, the corrupting conversations of base men; but be diligent to spend most of your time with the good; for the conversations of the bad corrupt good morals, and it is easier to share in a disease than to impart health. Flee from falsehood D as from the poison and the gall of the destroyer, and as from the falling away from truth and the dissolution of the image; for man surpasses the beasts of the field by his mind; and the work of the mind is truth and the knowledge of things. But falsehood is the opposition of truth, and it is the blinding of the soul and the darkness of the intellect; and, just as the imitation of gold is not gold at all, so the lying person is not truly a man. By nature there are two kinds of falsehood: the one arises through ignorance of things, the offspring of deception and of a false opinion, which is shameful and detestable, a sign of ignorance, if it happens regarding the universal nature of things—for these it is possible to know through science—but, on the other hand, the ignorance in particular matters is somewhat excusable.
A It is, however, better to be silent than to speak when one does not know. Another form is that which is contrary to one’s opinion, a lie, when, knowing the truth, one willingly says otherwise, either for the sake of some purpose, or in vain without reason. Therefore, he who lies willingly and in vain is light-headed, and this man is most properly called a lover of lies, since he loves and pursues lying for its own sake. This is a sign of a distorted mind, which loves and clings to base and harmful things. But he who chooses the lie for some reason, either for the sake of profit or to harm another—the benefit, moreover, is twofold, being either one's own or that of one's neighbor. Now, that which is done for the sake of a neighbor's gain, if it be for a just and good and worthy cause, such as the saving of a body or of kin or friends, is not only excusable, but even praiseworthy; for it seems to be a work of love toward one's neighbor. But if it be for unjust gain of money or glory, it is destructive, shameful, and full of injustice; for the work of love is to assist, not to join in injustice. That which is done for the sake of one's own benefit, if the benefit be just and good, happens to be somewhat excusable; but if it be unjust, it is most wicked and a doubling of evil, for to the unjust intent the lie is added. The lie which is done for the sake of harming a neighbor and with malicious intent, this part of lying is called treachery; but a reasonable concealment is a servant of providence. Therefore, flee from every form of lying, if possible; but if there is a necessity, use it for what is beneficial, and from your soul hate and strongly turn away from the rest, but love the truth as something precious and divine, and speak only the true things 2 which you clearly know. As for things you do not know accurately, do not wish to speak to another; for in this way give full assurance to all against yourself, so that they may believe what you say to be true and certain, and may not demand oaths 3 as confirmation of your words. For those who bring in oaths for the confirmation of their words, they show themselves to be unworthy of belief and are found to be transgressors of the divine commandment, which orders not to swear at all 4. Keep your promises and your agreements; for not only is he who breaks these a liar, but also a plunderer, taking away the debts of others. B You have made yourself a debtor to perform such things; for the word of an agreement is a most strong bond. A duty is the loss of one’s former freedom. For he who is a debtor is not master of not acting, but is forced to do as a servant the things he owes. Therefore do not give agreements quickly and often, lest by breaking them you seem faithless to these people, but when it is necessary, and what is necessary, and what you are able to fulfill. If you are entrusted by someone with mysterious words, hide them in the depth of your mind and do not reveal them; nor, if such a person later becomes your enemy, should you ever wish to harm him by making them manifest; for you have harmed yourself more, becoming a faithless one 5. For a mystery is like a deposit, and more sacred than this because it is hidden, and he who reveals it commits an act of faithlessness, as he had promised to guard it well and without guile. Do not listen eagerly to dangerous mysteries, such as those that are plotted against the king or some other powerful and influential person; and furthermore, the secrets of powerful persons, if another knows them—for danger creeps in, and you will have the blame if another reveals it. C In your associations 6, keep to your own affairs, studying only to have what is yours and what is your own, not desiring to take things that belong to your neighbors, or stealing, or deceiving, or seizing by force, or otherwise removing them in any way 7. For this is in truth destructive to a body politic, and the matter is like cannibalism. Greed is a natural enemy of the whole city; indeed, laws and those who rule them restrain the excess and introduce justice and equality to all, while the citizens, desiring to take their own, seek it. For the unjust man wishes to have all things himself; neither earth nor sea satisfies his broad greed. For greed is a mindless madness, a desire seeking the unattainable and pursuing the impossible; but equality is preservative of a body politic, and it maintains association and brings in friendship. One must honor justice not in money only, but in all possessions and external goods—in glory, I mean, and honor, and things similar to these. Do not ever covet an honor not belonging to you, nor wish to seize the glory that is proper to another, but acknowledge openly those who are more honorable than you, vers. 1135
And assign to them the honor that is fitting, as is right, and lavish praise upon the diligent, so that you may not seem to be envying the honors of those who are worthy, and wanting all honors for yourself, usurping their deeds and words, and dragging their achievements unto yourself. For by doing so you are truly committing a double injustice: depriving others of the glory that is their due, while you deceptively assign to yourself the glory that is due to them. Do not cause anyone to have a bad reputation or shame, whether you intend to gain something or nothing at all; for you have committed an injustice by willingly harming your neighbor.
Do not entangle yourself in the sins of others, as though you were gaining a better reputation by their failures; for by the comparison you examine their faults, and you cause shame and dishonor to them. But to procure glory through the dishonor of others is ambitious, most shameful, and unjust.
If you yearn for fame and honor, yearn for them justly. Be wise and righteous, temperate and brave, and strive for the most excellent things and perform them not negligently; and thus you shall justly attain glory from the good.
If you share in a task with anyone in life, wish to share equally with both your betters and your inferiors. Do not assign to yourself the greater part of the good things and the lesser to him, but the opposite with misfortunes: assign to yourself the least and to him the greater. For everyone will thus flee your company. Rather, assign to him the greater portion of profit and honor, and for yourself assign a greater portion of care, difficulties, labors, and toils, and you shall have great renown.
Do not wrong a poor man, and do not despise him; for even if he is unable to defend himself, he has God as his avenger, whom all things dread. If you see an orphan or a widow being wronged, do not pass them by and overlook them as they perish, but stand forth nobly and rescue them from danger, not fearing the unjust man even if he appears powerful; for you have God as your helper against those who do injury. And if it happens that you undergo danger for this, you shall crown yourself with a bright and martyric crown; for it is for the sake of your neighbor that you have undergone the danger. A
If anyone requests your counsel for his own needs, learn the subject matter accurately and eagerly, and counsel what seems best for him to do. For the gift of knowledge has not been granted to everyone, and he who has received it owes it to share it with all; for counsel is in a way more beneficial than money. Do not share your counsel with those who are eager to commit injustice, nor assist them in any way either by deed or by word, so that you may not become a partaker yourself of that injustice. Rebuke the base ones who are not capable [of change] in private, with much gentleness and genuine love; for perhaps they will one day turn away from their wickedness.
B If someone in your presence speaks ill of a virtuous man, you bring his achievements into the middle and extinguish the slanders with your praises; for you defend the one, and you shame the unjust man. But if you remain silent, letting one be unjustly insulted, you have become a traitor to the truth, like Judas.
C Do not be neglectful of your own relatives and friends, but visit them frequently and help them in their needs, advising, working with them, and providing for them in every way. A friend is the greatest of possessions in life; he is not some one thing among good things, but one who brings all things, sharing his own in the bond of your friendship—body, soul, money, power, and glory—a counselor in concerns, a partner in works, D a provider in needs, a defender in battles, a companion in joys, a comforter in sorrows, a bridle in prosperity, a foundation in adversity, or even a harbor receiving one as if from a shipwreck.
A life without friends is lacking in help, and is like a harborless sea, an unroofed house, an unguarded fortress, or a journey without water. Wherefore, strive to acquire friends in every way. But do not acquire them quickly, passing judgment too rashly. Rather, examine them first through their public reputation, then by drawing closer and testing them, observe his intelligence and his intent, and how he holds himself toward every virtue and vice, and especially how he handles friendly associations, and how he was genuinely disposed toward friends in the past. It is impossible to learn all these things in a short time, but one must make the test over a longer period. And by thus knowing all things about him with complete accuracy, vers. 1221
If, however, he seems unproved, draw back little by little; but approach the proven ones and be joined to them genuinely, A and reach out and take the right hands of friendship and communion, and constantly irrigate the work of friendship until it becomes great and you see it bearing fruit; for friendship 1 is strengthened always by being aged. Strive to choose friends 2 who are prudent and serious; for only these men love and are loved for their own sake, and their partnership is unbreakable. For they become such through virtue, and they love the good, which is immovable and permanent. And friendship that is perfect arises only from these men, encompassing all the reasons for being loved—I mean, that which is advantageous, that which is good, and that which is pleasant. For those who are pleasant spend time together and live together, and they are eager to assist in every way those in need, and they make the good of friendship the end of all things. But the friendship that occurs between base men happens to be false, short-lived, and partial. It is false because they do not love these same men, but rather some fleeting pleasure or a necessity of life; and these things are short-lived and flowing, and the desire for them flies away entirely, like a flame whose fuel has quickly died down. And as it does not encompass the reasons of the friend, but only the useful, perhaps, or the pleasant, or both, while not seeing the good, it happens to be in some way partial. Friendship, therefore, is the best of good things, and seek to hunt these men, my dear friend, in every way.
Since virtue 1 is a rare commodity, and it is necessary for you to associate with many men in life, take as a backup plan—choose for me, from among the semi-wicked, those who strive to speak the truth and remain friends of justice. For justice holds friendship together more than all other virtues, and does not allow it to be torn asunder. And procure friends for me from among them for the sake of what is useful; for such men assist one another eagerly, as if lending their own resources for the needs of life, hoping to receive back the like and the equal. But if they do not receive it back, or if it is somewhat less, they immediately make accusations as if wronged.
A For such men cannot direct their character. For even if they make their character humble and gracious, and even if they show goodwill and kindness in their speech, and even if they become eager collaborators in necessary tasks, and spend money and promise everything, nothing of this is either true or trustworthy; but it is a veil for the wickedness of the soul, and a friendly mask feigned for the purpose of deceit and the ruin of those who have been deceived. How then could you be able to deal with such a person as a friend? For if you are always distrustful and foresee the guile, it is an unending toil and a storm of the soul, and sleeplessness of thoughts, and a wasting of the bones, as if you were living among untamed beasts.
B If, however, charmed by the feigned goodwill, you believe him, immediately along with the bait you have swallowed the hook, and in your very vitals you have received the ruin—and rightly so. Therefore, it is most harmful of all to be together with deceitful men. But if some need for necessities presses you, be just so prudent with them as to fulfill the need, and then immediately leap away, like a bird from snares. Yet, do not plan to acquire such men as enemies either; for as useless as they are for friendship, by that much more active do they become for enmities. For they pour out unmixed venom on the spot, and they do not easily cease from harming their neighbors, but they spring it from a foul heart, and they always add to their previous acts of malice—for they keep pouring out an unceasing stream of death-bearing venom, there being no better stream within in their heart. Do not think it necessary to be wary only of acquiring base enemies, but do not acquire any other man as an enemy at all, if it is possible. For an enemy is a greater evil than a friend is a good, because the human race is naturally inclined towards enmity rather than towards friendship. C Therefore, extend equal effort toward the acquisition of friends and toward the acquisition of enemies, and toward having none at all.
The genesis of friendship, however, exists through three things—the pleasant, the advantageous, and the good in one's judgment. For one would not accept, upon judging, the one whom he does not love, and with whom he does not delight to associate and spend the day, and who is not useful for the actions of life. Therefore, strive to be a good man through your acquisition of the virtues, and especially of prudence, and you shall become someone to be emulated. Be useful, helping everyone as much as possible, and you would be pleasant to everyone in this manner. D For the reason of these things is more powerful than ten thousand hands, and a mere nod often accomplishes the greatest things. For just as the most active medicines produce their own harm or benefit in a short time, so the capable easily accomplish great things. You, being unjust and false-loving and deceitful in your intentions, do not let yourself be deceived into ever acquiring friends.
A Be gentle and humble, with greatness of soul; be accessible to all, with a well-spoken mouth. Be respectful and kindly, gentle in all things; for goodwill and the proper measure of honor are a kind of natural debt owed by all to one another. Thus you will be able to acquire and preserve friends, for by the same things through which each is brought into being, through those same things it is also maintained. But the origin of enmity is through the opposites, and from associating with what is painful, shameful, and disadvantageous. A vice of the soul and wickedness produce shame, for a lack of harmony in character is a kind of disease of the soul; most shameful of all is folly, being the darkness of the soul and blindness of the mind. That which causes harm is disadvantageous, whether one is willing or unwilling. The arrogant person becomes painful to all in association, for he takes away the honor that is due, and is irascible and contentious towards those who are with him, rebuking, punishing, casting taunts, quarreling, brawling, and disputing about all things. Furthermore, the gloomy and morose person seems not kindly, but something of a misanthrope. These things break off friendship and beget enmities; for goodwill begets reciprocal goodwill, and, conversely, ill-will begets ill-will by natural law. Also, a humble disposition begets humility, while everyone feels contempt in return for the arrogant; for they do not wish to be overcome and to honor others against their will, for they consider this to be servitude, tyranny, and a clear contempt and lack of honor toward themselves. But all people naturally choose to be honored and loved. Just as someone willingly bestows money, B not looking to what is advantageous for you, but pursuing pleasure, setting as his end how he may please you. For he has no concern for your affairs, how you might fare, but he has concern for his own pleasure and gain, and while providing you with pleasures, he receives gains in return. Flee, therefore, the blandishments of the vile sycophants. For crows devour the bodies of the dead, but sycophants devour the living like dogs. And, so long as you are fortunate, you have a crowd of sycophants; but if it happens that your wealth falls into poverty, as often happens in the shifting turns of fortune, immediately they all depart and leave you destitute, taking no note of your need, nor sharing in conversation, nor sympathizing in any way, but rather mocking, and leaping quickly to another table. Being flatterers of the rich and arrogant toward the poor, they catch the foolish with a friendly mask, and enchant them with false praises, but appear abominable and vile to the prudent. Those, however, who blame or praise by the judgment of reason—love these as being truthful in their sentiment and just. And, if you truly wish to be among the excellent, love those who rebuke you, and give them thanks; for rebuke is a healing for a sick soul, and a purgative medicine for the corruption of the soul. He who has hated rebuke has missed out on health; C for an uninstructed soul remains unhealed. But whoever regards "seeming" as more preferable than "being" and is charmed by his own false praises, adds to his wounds and increases the disease, and does not perceive that he is moving towards obvious destruction. But you, however, must rightly prefer "being" to "seeming," and bear the sting of healing words gladly, but turn away from the pleasure of praises as something destructive. Show yourself to be this sort of person to your friends in all things, such as you would pray that they, being just, would be toward you. Rejoice with friends when they succeed, as is proper, rightly considering their good fortune to be your own; for sufferings and fortunes are naturally common to friends. But at their D dinners and kindnesses, if you are invited, do not go; for this is sycophantic. It is shameful to be eager to feast and to be full of self-love. But in the misfortunes and calamities of friends,
A immediately sympathize, not waiting for a call, supposing you are suffering with them and truly grieving; lighten the weight of their pain with your word, and cooperate in all things earnestly and readily, saying and doing everything that is to their advantage.
If you perceive that your friend is in need of something of yours, do not wait for a request, but anticipate it and give; for perhaps he is ashamed of the necessary need. Praise the accomplishments of your friends readily, but cover and hide their missteps. And if any of these things becomes known to outsiders, you, by means of persuasive words, cast a shadow over the matter; for you must care for the reputation of your friends B more than for your own; for this is a token of genuine friendship. Admonish the friend who is sinning in private, with both gentleness and a stinging of the heart, as if suffering for what has been wrongly done by him; and even if he is unaware that he has sinned, teach him with a clear word. But one must not try to expose all faults (for this is heavy and unpleasant, and dissolves friendship), but rather those that bring great harm and disgrace. If he is not pained having done it, and does not hasten to correct it, then indeed you must least of all use admonition. Do not easily trust slander against friends; for it is lightness to consider him who has been proven over a long time a non-friend due to a mere word; it is even lighter to believe in suspicions, even if they contribute persuasively to giving evidence. For one should not be persuaded by vague words and conjectures against things that are manifest and demonstrated. Nor, in other matters, easily believe such things; for the truth is hard to find in practical affairs, and fortune brings things that seem more than what is probable, and such things are cunningly framed by enemies, by which he who is persuaded immediately sins against what is right. Therefore, much investigation and the greatest sagacity is needed for the discovery of the truth, and for flight from deceit.
Local separation, even if it becomes long-standing, should not dissolve the bond of accurate friendship. For the mind is more accurate for vision than the eyes, and souls are able to be united even without bodies. For we are able to be with Plato and with the Stagirite, even though much time has flowed in between.
A Portray the absent friend in your imagination, and remember his words and deeds and character, and as if he were present, embrace him in your soul and love him. Visit the absent friend with letters, and receive a letter from him, and hasten to write back; for the nature of a letter is terrible at clearly conveying both deeds and words and characters and passions, and inward dispositions and the circumstances of fortune. For he was wise who tied voices into letters, having ordained lifeless letters as symbols of voices. B Treat the children of friends as your own and cherish them, and hold their wives as more sacred than all possessions, and count them as genuine sisters and mothers, and respect them standing from afar, approaching them but little. Prefer the friends of friends and their relatives over outsiders; for one must hold them as friends more than strangers; for things to the same are the same, and to each other, as the most beautiful geometry clearly wishes.
If you ever see a danger, concerning the affairs of friends, help as much as possible until you deliver them C safely. Do not prefer relatives over blameless friends; for opinion is stronger than blood for friendship; for many have become brother-slayers, and indeed even father-slayers, because of small and fleeting things of life; but no one has killed a friend while truly loving, but many have long ago shared danger with their friends; let Orestes be brought forward, and the admirable Pylades. But if a relative be found who is a worker of virtue, and is allied in opinion and by the intimacy of time, this one has enriched the bond of friendship twofold and is most unbreakable for the entire life.
D There is no exchange for faithful friends in life, nor is there a scale that defines the beauty of these. Wealth and glory and luxury and the power of dominion, gathered into one and mixed into one, are not equal in value to pure friendship, which virtue has joined and the communion of opinion, and time has confirmed through perfect experience, and custom, long-standing, has appropriately fused, having blended them into one accord and a growing together of souls. And of all things such friendship is the rarest, and he who obtains it is blessed indeed for this divine gift.